APOLOGIES

02

Robyn.
Some would say my life is like a movie or some book but the difference is in movies and books everyone gets a happy ending. This fuckery life of mine will never be the definition of happy.
I'm hungry cold and have absolutely no where to go. When I ran away I thought it would make my situation better,it would help me forget and hide all the pain I've endured.
This isn't exactly how I planned but I don't regret it. In all honesty id rather be homeless temporarily living on a dirty weak bus bench with no one but the stray dogs that linger every once in awhile than to be "home" a place I've never felt safe. Hell I was never safe there. They treated me and the rest of those morons like shit especially her. Ya know some people would come to the orphanage to adopt someone and then they would just look at me in pity as if they felt sorry for me and sometimes random assholes would come to me apologizing for my shit of a "life". I get sick of everyone's pity and apologies.
I bet you think all orphans would just love to meet there real parents but I don't want to meet them. I know they're just going to give me a cheap ass apology like the rest. If I ever met my "real" parents they wouldn't even be considered real to me they didn't raise me they didn't do shit for me except make me in some cheap motel. I don't know why my parents left US. I would be lying if I said I didn't want to know but I do. I've always wondered why one would give there child away ? How do you carry something everyone calls precious for 9 months and just throw it away forever like yesterday's paper? I bet they couldn't find one fuck in there fucked up soul to care how WE would feel. They don't even know what happened to her. She was all I had.
CHRIS.
To me I'm pretty boring but to these slut ass bitches I'm like some god. My life ain't perfect, I don't have the fairytale life everyone expects. I mean yes I'm the captain of the basketball team, Yes I throw the hottest parties, and yes I am rich well my mother is. All that shit don't take away my pain my hurt none of those niggas I call friends know my struggle that I've been through. I don't trust none of them,not because I can't trust anyone but because I know all them are jus around for the school popularity and the money. I don't know how I just let them play me everyday like that but it's whatever. I don't even care anymore I mean my life could be worse,Right? My dad did leave me and my mother when I was 2, never to be seen again. My beautiful mother is emotionally drained and about 3 years ago she started doing crack. I caught her once and I told my Auntie and we forced her to go to a rehabilitation center. It was the best thing for her. She's been alright ever since then I guess you could say, But ever since she got out she's been attracting the wrong type of men. Almost every week I have to hold her while she cries her self to sleep in my arms. I really don't know why I fuck with hoes I've seen my mother get her by niggas just like me but yet I'm same type of guy as the fuck nigga that's making my mom cry. I could be in a real committed relationship with a girl with no problems but I chose not to. As my thoughts are wondering around I'm my head I come across the girl from yesterday. Today she's sitting on a bus bench. I walk up to her hoping she would be impressed by my charming smile. I'm not trying to run game on her or anything but the sight of this stranger makes me smile is that weird?
Robyn.
I wonder how long I'm going to be able to survive here. By myself. This never came up during my planning. What if-
"Hey I thought I'd see you again" He said interrupting my thoughts with a big koo laid smile.