Hell Bound

Seventeen

The blast had damaged my eardrum. I could feel it when the world went silent, and all I could hear was the high-pitched ringing that blocked everything else out. Bricks and ash shifted as I moved out of the rubble. Something warm and wet like blood dripped out of my ear and down my cheek. But there was freedom in the silence. I lifted my hands, examining them for scrapes and burns, and the first thing I noticed was that I had complete control over them. They were still shaking, but it no longer felt like I was fighting a battle with my own mind.

Russell couldn't have known that. He just knew that I'd killed two members of his team and would probably kill more. So when he found me, he had to ensure I couldn't kill again. I could see it when he'd weighed the options in his mind. He could kill me for what I'd done. As far as he knew, I'd betrayed them all and had been working for the other side the entire time. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. Just in case he was wrong. So he shot me in the shoulder instead.

The colonel brought me out of my daze. He ran into the open courtyard, risking being open and vulnerable for the shelter of a metal awning. He hit the ground when a bullet struck his thigh. I knew I'd never be redeemed for the lives I'd taken, but I couldn't let another person die when I still had the chance to save them.

So I began to crawl. My legs were too weak to lift me, and I'd lost too much blood to stand. I wasn't sure if I could reach him in time or what would happen when I did. I just knew that I had to try. I would never forgive myself if I didn't.

The grenade rolled into view before I could reach him. I never knew if it was a delayed explosion or a malfunction, but I reached for it without a second thought and sent it back where it came from. It ignited in midair, and the blast was loud enough to break through the ringing silence. The heat of the explosion sent shards of metal and fire raining over the courtyard. It took out half a building, killing the people who'd sent it.

The colonel had crawled the rest of the way under the sheet of metal. I could make out the dull sound of his shouts as I continued toward him. I was disobeying his orders, and he knew as well as I did that it was deliberate. I moved to his side, pulled myself to my knees, and examined the wound. He tried to shove me away, almost knocking me back into the dirt, but I refused to go. I knew what I had to do to keep him alive, and I was going to try.

He lost consciousness after I dug my fingers into the bleeding hole in his thigh. I felt the artery slip between my fingers. I needed to pinch it. To hold off on the bleeding long enough for it to clot. It would be dirty and messy, and he'd likely end up with a severe infection in his blood. But infections could be treated. I needed to keep him alive long enough.

But then the ringing began to fade, and I made out the sound of rapid gunfire and shooting from far off. Something seemed to be burrowing into my brain like a slippery worm.

"Johanna," a voice whispered as the artery slipped between my fingers again. I shook my head.

"Stop it," I spoke out loud. I'd fought it once to save Jimenez. Talbot wouldn't die here. I knew he wouldn't. I wouldn't change that. I wasn't going to let it win.

The shouting grew louder, and my concentration began to slip. I looked up at the road that led into the courtyard. Jimenez was running, yelling for me to get away. To run. My feet responded, and I got myself standing. But my hands moved for the gun, and I heard that voice again in the back of my head. Clear as if my hearing wasn't damaged.

"Kill him."

"It's a lie."

I lifted the gun and fired.

"Wake up, spooners," someone said. Bucky jolted behind me. His arm shot off my waist in a flash. His hand clinked against something metal. A gun. It happened so fast I didn't realize what he'd done until Graham let out an expletive. "I'm sorry," he was saying. "Where did you even have that thing?"