Hell Bound

Three

My first meeting was a success. Or at least I thought it was. Everyone seemed happy to see me, even though I had no idea what I was doing or how to get started. Sam had walked me through things, and I had done a brief training. But it was a part-time job that didn't require much other than being social. Which I was really bad at.

It got underway relatively quickly though. I didn't need to do anything more than keep conversations alive and prevent people from talking over each other or hogging all the attention. I could see why it made Sam happy. And although I didn't think I'd ever be able to fill his shoes, it was definitely a better use of my time than sitting around on Tony's deck on a laptop all day.

The kid, Graham, never spoke up. He sat at the back of the room, listening to everyone else talk. He even stuck around for my second meeting. Occasionly he would crack a joke or a smile, but he didn't seem to want to share his own experiences. I couldn't blame him. I didn't share either. But the great thing is that no one pushed anyone else. Everyone was just there for support, community, and maybe free coffee and cookies.

When the last meeting finished and the crowd dissipated, Graham stayed behind to help me put the chairs and tables away. Then he walked me back out to the parking garage, lugging my heavy box in his hands instead of allowing me to do it myself. I told him multiple times that I didn't need any help, but he said he couldn't stand there watching me struggle with something too big for my "tiny baby arms." I guess I couldn't argue with that logic. I'd rather it be because my arms were too short and not because my shoulders were too weak.

Once I got home, the contented haze faded. I'd only been back for a short time, but I felt even more alone than ever. I used to find peace in my house. But I also used to work so much that coming home felt like a relief. I was an introvert, and too much interaction wore me out. But that didn't mean I didn't crave connection. Bucky, Steve, and Sam were only part of my life for a short time, and now I wasn't sure I could go back to the way things were before. I wasn't sure I even wanted to.

I was only supposed to have meetings three days a week, twice each day. I had different groups for each meeting. Some for older vets. Some for the younger ones, like Graham. Some for just women. And some for everyone. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do with all that free time. Sam had a second job to supply extra income and keep him busy. And the meetings had really been more of a volunteer activity he did to help his community, rather than a real job. Yes, we got paid for it. But it wasn't supposed to be long term. Sam was also just genuinely better and not burning out.

When I got to work the next day, I was surprised to find Graham already waiting in the exact spot I'd found him the day before. I stepped into the room, and there he was under the window with his book.

"Oh, hi," I said, carrying the box over to the table he'd already set out for me. "I wasn't expecting to see you again until next week." He stood up but seemed more relaxed with me than before.

"I don't have much to do during the day at the moment," he explained. Then he got up and came over to help me with the chairs again.

"You don't have to help me." He gave me a cold stare with his wide, youthful eyes.

"You have two good knees, and I have two good shoulders. Between the two of us, we make one halfway decent person." I laughed and shook my head.

"I guess I can't argue with that."

"Right. So you be my knees, and I'll be your shoulders."

"Alright, I guess."

He seemed more talkative as he helped me set up the room. He told me about his book, which I'd never read. But I had read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. So we got into a discussion about those, and he told me how The Silmarillion tied into them.