Hell Bound

Twenty-Eight

I sat down on my bed and stared out the window. This is why I avoided things. This is why I didn't like digging. Bucky was right. If something was hidden, it wasn't meant to be discovered. Every time I paid too much attention to my past, something surfaced that had the potential to change my whole life. I was already struggling to deal with what might have really happened the day everyone died. Now I had to deal with Bucky suspecting my parents weren't really my parents. I didn't want to believe it, and I couldn't ask them. He was right to think they would lie if they thought it would protect me. I didn't believe they would have kept something from me maliciously. I knew they both loved me unconditionally. My memories were clear on that, at least.

Clara was young when I was born. Young enough to not notice something weird going on. Young enough to not question a sister that came out of nowhere. But she might have been old enough to pick up on clues. Even if she couldn't understand them. Or maybe I was just looking for an excuse to hear her voice. I needed to know that she was real and our past was real. She was my sister regardless of what Bucky suspected. I still had my phone stuffed into my back pocket. So I pulled it out and called her.

"Hi, it's me," I said when she answered. I slouched and sank into my bed. I felt pathetically miserable. As if I needed my big sister to reassure me. But I couldn't bring it up outright. It would probably hurt her more than it hurt me. And I knew for certain that they'd never tell her if it was true.

"Jo, hi!" she replied with excitement. "What's going on? Why do you sound so down? You're not hurt, are you?"

"No, no, no. I'm fine. I just miss you. Kind of hard to get the hang of living without you guys. I was wondering what you were up to."

"I've just been working like crazy since we got back to the city. So has Tony. We've hardly had enough time to see each other. Just constant work. He definitely keeps me busy." She sounded so normal. Just a woman with a regular job and average parents. Definitely not the kind of woman who'd have a secretly adopted sister who was harboring a wanted assassin in her house.

But then again—she was dating Iron Man.

"Oh, I don't want to bother you if you're busy."

"You're not bothering me at all! I probably can't talk for long, but I could use a few minutes to myself. What's up? What's going on? How's the new job?"

"It's been great. There isn't much for me to do, actually."

"How's your new therapist?"

"She's nice. You just reminded me that I need to call her. But she's nice."

"How are you guys communicating?"

"Well, we talk. A bit. It's been hard. I'll be honest."

"I understand, but you should really try giving her a chance. She might be able to help. And Sam trusts her. That should be good for something, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose so."

"So—Tony kind of mentioned you had a guy over."

"Graham?"

"Don't play dumb with me. He told me you have two people staying with you. And that you asked him not to monitor you this morning. I was there when you called, by the way. And you made it clear it was at least one guy."

"At least one?"

"Well, I wasn't gonna ask. But one is a bit on the young side." I sighed heavily and flopped back onto my mattress. I hadn't bothered to make the bed, so the blankets and sheets were still twisted and messy.