Hell Bound

Eight

I could feel the heat of the sun against my back as I walked through the debris of a crumbling church. Shattered stained glass made beams of colored light through the dusty air. There was shouting and voices still calling from outside, but I moved away from them. I knew I should have gone to help, but I had to go back and confess what I'd done. I had to surrender my weapons and tell them to lock me up. I kept my feet moving forward, crunching through bits of colored glass and chunks of stone.

I was terrified of what might happen if I found another member of my team. I could still see the brief shock on Tran's face right before I pulled the trigger. There was a moment right before the lights went out that I could see the betrayal in his eyes. I could still hear the frantic tone of Russell's voice as he begged for my gun. What if I found him next? What if the next person I saw was Russell or even Jimenez or the Colonel? I was going to spend the rest of my life in prison, or worse, trapped in my own head and unable to control my body.

When I left the church, I could hear more shouting at the end of the street. I told myself to stop before I hurt anyone else, but my feet kept moving. My fingers slid down the weapon and rested on the trigger. When she came around the corner, my friend and teammate, I shot her between the eyes.

I woke up gasping. I was still on the uncomfortable chair in the living room. I'd kicked the blanket to the floor in my struggle. The sun was already up, spilling beams of golden light in stripes through the blinds.

Bucky was lying on the couch, but he was awake now. I wasn't sure how long he'd been awake or if I woke him up. He moved his head and glanced up at me, but I couldn't come up with anything to say. I didn't think he needed to hear it anyway. I could already see the understanding on his face.

I decided not to give him the chance to question it. I jumped out of the chair and headed right for the hallway.

"What time is it? Are you hungry?" I asked.

"I'm fine," he replied from behind me.

I went to make breakfast anyway. It had been a long time since I had a reason to cook anything. Not that I particularly enjoyed it. I usually looked for any excuse not to. But I didn't like being idle, and it helped keep my mind off things. I knew Bucky liked waffles, even if he couldn't remember it. Plus, the kid probably liked them too.

Graham was still sleeping when I checked on Bucky after getting the coffee started. He was asleep too. I didn't want to put any music on in case it woke them, but I couldn't stand the silence. My ears always started to ring, and I couldn't last long. So I hummed to myself as I prepared the batter just to drown it out.

I heard Graham when he woke up. The ceiling creaked before I heard his footsteps in the hallway. Bucky was always the opposite. Eerily silent even in a house with wood floors that were constantly shifting. He never made a sound unless he wanted me to know he was there.

Graham came right to the kitchen once he reached the bottom floor.

"What are you making?" he asked, appearing in the entryway still groggy from sleep. His short brown hair was messy and sticking straight up. He was still exhausted. Probably from the events of the night before. Or just sleeping on a crappy futon.

"Waffles. I hope you like waffles."

"I would worship waffles if that was an acceptable religion." I rolled my eyes as he limped over to the table and nearly collapsed into the closest chair. "What were you singing?"

"Oh, I don't really know. Just trying to break the silence, I guess. I hate when it's quiet."

"How's the patient?" he asked just as I started the first waffle.