A Star Wars TFA Prequel: "Why Aren't You Scared of Me?"

"Can You Take Off Your Mask?"

The stars pass by outside my window in the Captain's quarters as the ship speeds forward, each star another distance farther away from Rey. I hear my own breathing in my mask, in and out, it's my own world inside, the rest of the world is on the outside.

I sit up straighter on the edge of my bed and look down at my grandfather's mask that sits on the night table. The call button beeps and I ignore it. I know it's Hux. There's no one else that would be ringing my call button this far into sleep hours. The beep comes again. He'll give up eventually. I've got nothing to say. Rey's terrified of me. She sees the darkness inside of me, on the outside. She did mention once that her mother told her she had a gift for seeing people how they really are on the inside. I've never met someone so full of light as Rey, and my calling is to the Dark Side. Now my destiny is secure, because I will never love anyone else, so I'm ready to truly embrace who I am.

The call button rings again and this time I get up to open the door. I stand straight, preparing to face Hux and tell him I'm fine and don't need him questioning my emotional state. If I want to destroy the Bridge, then I will.

The door slides open and Anthony stands there, in his uniform. I sense his fear immediately as he looks into my mask. Again I'm glad that no one can see my facial expressions when I'm wearing it. Anthony's presence is unexpected. He bows slightly, stealing another quick glance at my mask before lowering his eyes. "I came to see if I could be of service to you, Master."

I don't reply. Is he offering himself to me? His fear, his heart pounding, his excitement, it all comes radiating from him, so strong, in a very different way than the devastating fear I felt in Rey, which only made me hurt. With Anthony it's intoxicating, as though he desires to be afraid and to give into it.

"What do you have to offer?" I ask him, curious.

"Anything, my lord," he bows again.

"That will be all, ensign." The command comes from behind Anthony and he turns in surprise. It's Hux, still in his commander's uniform, with an angry expression on his face. Anthony quickly bows a final time then walks away.

I cross my arms, blocking the door, as Hux approaches.

"You're feeling better?" he asks.

"You're not asleep."

"My night clothes and bags are still in your room."

I uncross my arms and step aside for Hux to enter.

"I don't trust him," Hux says as he passes by me. I stand near the door, keeping it open as I wait for Hux to get his things. He goes to the hidden cabinets in the wall and stops.

"She's going to be okay, you know," he says, turning to look at me. "She's a strong little girl. She attacked you, a Dark Lord, with just a stick." He smiles a little. "I can see why you're so fond of her. She's got quite the spirit."

I focus on the sound of my breathing in my mask. I don't want to think about Rey. I've been trying so hard not to fall apart.

"Why are you still wearing your helmet?" Hux asks, as though only just noticing it. He walks over and stops in front of me.

"I don't need to take it off," I say.

"What was Anthony doing here?"

"He's mine."

"Yours?"

"Everything is mine. I'm the ruler of the Galaxy now. Everything is for my use, including you."

Hux frowns. "Can you take off your mask?"

"You can get your stuff and leave."

"Should I send Anthony back this way once I leave?" Hux growls.

"Yes," I say, even though I don't mean it. Hux presses his lips together tight and doesn't move away from in front of me, as though challenging me to a fight. He tries to look into the eyes of my mask, then gives up and reaches up to either side of my helmet to remove it.

"Don't," I say, stepping back.

"Ren, you have to sleep sometime."

"It doesn't have to be tonight."

"We'll be arriving at the First Order Base in the day hours and Snoke has meetings for us to be in all day, about the new Death Star we're building. The Mandalorians are pulling out of their agreement to supply the raw materials for the Death Star, after we showed up with battle cruisers in their territory and..." Hux stops and reaches up again to the release tabs on my mask. I don't stop him this time. The soft hiss of air rushing in from the outside fills the mask. I reach up too, putting my hands over Hux's, and we remove the mask together.

I blink at the brighter light in the room.

"Phasma's been asking to see you," Hux says, his eyes searching mine now. "I told her you were sleeping."

"Hux?"

"Yeah?"

"What did you have delivered here, from the Academy?"

Hux lets go of my helmet and looks off to the side, appearing annoyed, but I recognize that look and I know he's just embarrassed.

"Millicent," he says.

"What's that?"

Hux sighs and crosses his arms, his commander's uniform moving up in the shoulders as he does so. "She's a stray cat someone left behind on a visit to the school. I fed her once and then she was always at my window."

I smile, the pain in my chest easing a little. Then I frown again, a sudden tiredness washing over me. "Stay here tonight," I say to Hux. He raises his eyebrows slightly then gives me a questioning look. "That's an order," I add.

"Then," Hux replies, "I'm guess I'm glad I actually want to stay."