A Star Wars TFA Prequel: "Why Aren't You Scared of Me?"

As She Sleeps

"You've grown," Mom says, giving me a sad smile. I tap my feet, anxious for Dr. Haymen to arrive. The stylish look of the control station terminal is a welcome site, so much more modern than the dusty ruins of the Old Academy buildings. Everything smells clean and new. There's not a speck of dust on any surface and the coloured lights of the nearby viewscreens give the place a festive feel. But we're the only two at the terminal and I can't look at Mom.

She reaches out to hug me and I back away, not wanting her to touch me. Mom frowns.

"You didn't have to come all the way here," I tell her.

"Ben..." Mom puts her arms around me, pulling me into a hug. I stand stiff, not hugging her back. Why can't I just hate her the way I hate dad? It's so easy to hate dad. But Mom makes me feel like I'm going to break into a million pieces. Finally she pulls away from me and looks up into my eyes.

"You're getting so tall," she says. "How's your summer going? Why don't you come back home? Your dad's away again and it's been very quiet at home."

"I want to stay here."

Mom sighs and takes a seat on the cushioned bench along the wall. "Do you want to tell me about this little girl?"

"No."

"Well, considering that we're using up our entire life savings to have the only nano-parasitologist specialist in the Galaxy rush here to save her, I'd like to at least know her name."

"Rita," I say, giving her Rey's middle name.

Mom nods, watching me. I clench my jaw. She knows. She could always sense everything about me, since we're both Force sensitive. She must feel how much I care about Rey, that I love her. I swallow hard. I could tell her everything. I could tell her that I was hurt when she sent me away, dumping me on others like an unwanted problem, that it hurts when she's always disappointed in me, and expects that I will fail at everything.

I look at her, as she waits for me to say something more about Rey. Should I tell her about the Games? Convince her to let Rey stay with us for the rest of the summer, and I would leave all of this behind; the Games, the First Order, Snoke, everything?

"You're too young for all of this intense training you do at the Academy. Maybe you should take next year off. If you don't feel you belong here-"

"I do belong here!" I say, the anger rising suddenly. "And I'm not too young or too sensitive or too out of control to study here, or do something important someday."

"Of course you're not," Mom says quickly. "Ben, listen. I'm not saying you're not capable. I just mean there's no rush in becoming part of an army or military group or growing up too fast."

Does she know about Grand Master Snoke and the First Order program?

"In battle people die," she continues. "Innocent villagers, teammates, captains and commanders. I just don't know if you're ready for all that, seeing as you're so concerned over one little girl-"

"She's not just some random little girl."

I turn away from her. She's doing it again. She thinks I'm useless like dad, only worse, because I have powers like Uncle Luke and yet I'm still hopeless.

"I have to go," I say.

* * *

I step up to Rey's door. Finally everyone has left so she can rest. Her grandfather was chanting with two other Masters in her room for hours after Dr. Haymen completed the surgery.

Everyone's gone now and I can finally go in and see Rey, but I pace in front of her door instead. Maybe I should let her rest. But I can't wait until morning, I have to see her now, even if she's asleep.

I open the door slowly and look in. She's lying in her bed, awake and looking out the window. She looks tiny and frail. Her head turns to me.

"Ren!" she says. Her voice sounds weak but she reaches her arms out to me and I hurry over and kneel down beside her bed to give her a hug.

"They left me here in the dark," she says against my chest.

"I'll light some candles." I get up quickly. "And don't worry, you won't be alone. I'll stay here all night with you, so you can sleep."

I open the night table drawer and take out some candles. I still have matches in my pocket and a chocolate square, which I brought just in case Rey felt well enough to eat. I fumble with the candles and matches. Too much has happened. For now everything is okay, Rey made it through the surgery and she's going to be fine. But I can't protect her forever.

When I finish lighting the candles I return to her bed and sit down beside her. She smiles.

"I told you that you should stay away from me," I say taking her hand. "That I might end up killing you someday."

"You didn't kill me," Rey says.

"I'm sorry I made you eat the treemeal." My throat tightens and I can't swallow. "You told me it tastes bad and I didn't listen."

Rita shrugs. "I was only sick for a little bit. I'm okay now." She gives me another weak smile, her face looking too pale. "The doctor said all the tree bugs are gone and I can do whatever I want tomorrow."

I nod. I don't want to cry, but all the emotions of the last few days are making it really hard to hold back the tears.

"Don't ever listen to me again, okay?" I say, wiping at my eyes. "Or anyone else. You do what you want to do and what you think is best. Listen to yourself."

"Okay," Rey says.

"We can play rocks tomorrow if you want."

Rey frowns. "I can't find Mr. Rock." Tears fill her eyes. "I tried to tell grandpa but no one was listening to me."

"I'm listening," I say, wiping a tear from her cheek. "I'll look all night until I find Mr. Rock. And Mrs. Rock too and all their babies."

"They're not under the bed anymore." Rey's bottom lip quivers.

I lift her hand and kiss it lightly. "Don't cry okay? I know they're all okay. I can feel it. I'm very Force sensitive. If anything bad happened to Mr. Rock there would be a disturbance in the Force and I would feel it."

"Okay, but you just told me not to listen to you or anyone," she says, smiling slightly. I smooth back her matted hair away from her forehead.

"You know what? I do know where they all are and I'll take you there tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Rey?"

"Yes?"

"Will you be my little sister?"

Rey smiles a bit bigger. "Okay, if you teach me how to fight with a light saber."

"Sure. But we'll have to use sticks to practice."

"Okay." Rey's eyelids grow heavy and she closes her eyes.

"Rey?"

She doesn't reply and her breathing becomes deep. I watch her for a moment then carefully move over to the foot of her bed to sit at her feet and lean against the wall. I close my eyes too and listen to her breathing as she sleeps.

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Author's Note: I'm curious, what do you guys think of this brother/sister Reylo? It is a bit of a challenge to write, since I'm better at romantic writing, but it is still intense and emotional to me! Thanks for reading :)