Dearest Steven-poo
Food hath no compare to your sweetness, air hath no meaning when thou art in the room, for when my eyes do so behold you, the haze of love's glory clouds my eyes, and an ocean of my feelings surround my feet as I drown. Our epic future is in my palm, hold my hand so that we may share it.
When I'm around you , I cry so much out of joy, I need a ship to come and rescue me, but only if it is ours, bae. Only OUR love can save me from this despair! Save me, bae, save me, for a game of Shoots and Latters has revealed you to be my true love.
Save me, for I am making waffles, but I need someone to give me the whip-cream...I can't eat without them...or you. I love thee, dearest Steven-patootski, I love thee dearly. Whom else would I share food with? None other than you. For you have put me on a barge and pushed the boat with your cutie-patootie arms that are like grape-fruit flavored noodles. I am sailing upon waters of the unknown, but you're worth it.
If you do not take a rescue boat after me soon, however, I will call upon mermaids to drown you as they sing lullabies. Lullabies of what we could have been. You have become to me what shrubbery is to a mountain. Beauty, and what everyone else wants.
You are mine, bae. Do not forget that. When I look at you, I see my name written in your seeing eyeballs. I am EVERYTHING to you, understand? You do, I am sure. If I were an Egyptian, I would kill you just so I could gather your internal organs.
With great love,
Mary Poppins
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Love Letters
HumorLizzy and Emma would like to give credit to Shelby, their dear friend, for writing the first fake love letter that initially started this whole thing. Because of that first letter we now have Mary Poppins and a whole lot of fun.