Sent in by an awesome fan! :
Dearest Chocolate Bunny,
What badly written fanfic compares to thee? What oiled door hinges compares to thine voice?
My bae, I wish to play Cranium with you. You can be my puppet, and I can control you. I will make you love me.
Without you, I am a moldy cheese puff, never turning into a butterfly. I need thine smooth book references. I am incomplete when I don't have your fluffy hair near.
Without me, you are a speck of dust. Dust that will be inhaled by the dog, sneezed out, then vacuumed up if you don't realize your affection toward me. The vacuum that sucked you up will be melted if you do not realize your love for me. You will still be in the vacuum. I will melt you, like my heart melts for your tree-bark eyes.
You love me, my little buttered toast. You just don't realize it yet. But you will, my hunky carrot stick.
I will infinitely love you, like my love for pencil erasers. Always, my sugar mouse, always.
But oh! Is our woeful fate sealed? Will we forevermore be separated by the cascade of opposition? Will we always be torn apart by the squirrels tugging at our heels? I hope not, hazelnut. Fight the rabid squirrels, for they wish to eat our fingers to prevent them from intertwining. Fight them, so we may defeat our fear of squirrels. Hold me, so I may know you don't want to become squirrel food. Deny me, and I will push you into the horde of raging rhino horns.
Love,
Mary Poppins
YOU ARE READING
Love Letters
HumorLizzy and Emma would like to give credit to Shelby, their dear friend, for writing the first fake love letter that initially started this whole thing. Because of that first letter we now have Mary Poppins and a whole lot of fun.
