OBSESSIVE

not

you inflicted an injury to my soul
that day, when two years of
consolation was wasted and forgotten,
because you found someone who
completed your constellation.

and if it wasn't bad enough,

you poured the ocean's worth
of salt into the synchronised wounds
you carved into my heart, skye.

shocked to see you standing at my
door at eleven at night, i
was even more horrified to discover
you weren't alone.

you stroked the silk of matthew's tapered
suit, one fine star-sparkled night after
college. your hair was entwined in
little sparkling clips, curled tightly
and make-up splattered your face,
smothering the beauty of your pale freckles.

and beyond this sickening scene,
of you, my soulmate on the arm of
some shyly smirking cunt, i notice
a girl who was so beautiful
and so perfect all at once.

but she wasn't you.

"a double date!" you exclaim.

i let my incredulous gaze drift
over the strange girl, who was looking
at me in such an incredibly understanding
way. she tucked a strand of her
straight black hair behind a small, curved
ear.

where you were every colour,
she was every shade of black.

i swallow my initial reaction
for her sake. this strange girl was already
tailoring black clouds of misery
that didn't need to be thickened and brewed
by a sour reaction.

"i don't really feel up to it."

regardless, you smile.

"nonsense. you've never had
a girlfriend since we were little!
i think this surprise double date
was well needed."

i swallow the lump in my throat,
and i look back over to the girl.

noticing my wandering eyes
you say politely, "this is april."

april showers. saturating in a visible
depression as her lost eyes look up at
matthew.

and my own looks back to you, skye.

but you and matthew were
oblivious to the want in our eyes
as you gazed into each other's sing-song souls.

the next thing i remember is
april and i walking side by side,
smiling politely at each other in the
melancholy distance between
you and matthew;
you were just inches in front of us
but it felt like
miles.

"so," april says quietly. "were
you expecting this?"

i shake my head. "skye has
a habit of springing things
up on me."

"matthew dragged me out.
he said i'm too pretty to remain
single. i stay single for a reason."

we share a look of knowledge.

out of kindness and nothing more
i take her supple hand.

"me too. it's so unfair."

"i really like him." i distinctly
remember her whispering,
but her expression was so forlorn
and riddled with saudade, i knew no
words of comfort was going to fill that
monstrous gap.

so i said nothing,
but i realised that splitting
you and matthew apart would be
more than a benefit to me.

after strolling hand in hand with april,
staring at the back of your head
in an agonising anticipation,
you finally spun on your heels
and gestured to a local resteraunt.