Because of a Girl Like Me

Chapter 9.

                  

"Hey Stell." I said into my phone. "I need help with what to wear tonight." I told her while shifting through things in my closet. She had been right before, I don't have anything good.

"Where is he taking you?"

Good question.

"He didn't say, he just said he'd pick me up at 7." I explained.

"Well then I would just go for something sexy. Not too dressy, but not slouchy either. You've got a great body, so show em a little." She laughed, "Anyway have fun, I am entertaining a special guest tonight and probably won't be around tomorrow. This guy looks like he will require a heavy dose of Nurse Stella."

I could hear a guy laugh in the background.

"That is way TMI, Stell. Be careful." I told her, shaking my head.

"Bye babes." Stella made a kissy sound into the phone and then the line went dead.

What to wear?

I decided for the first time since my mother's death to go and look in her closet to see if she had anything. I used to borrow her clothes all the time but it had felt weird for me to do it anymore after she was gone. I really needed something to wear though and Declan would be here in less than an hour.

I opened the door more slowly than was probably necessary. Dust hung heavy in the air. I knew Dad didn't come in here often, but now I was starting to wonder if he ever did.

The four poster queen sized bed was still perfectly made. On Mom's vanity her makeup box was still sitting open, her brushes were laid out. I ran my fingers across the dresser, my hand bringing back a thick layer of dust. Mom's bracelet I had bought her for the last Mother's Day before she died was sitting on the dresser next to her pearl earrings she used to love. Next to them was her signature perfume, she wore it every day religiously. I picked it up and took a quick sniff.

Tears threatened my eyes.

My mother had worn the same perfume for as long as I could remember and smelling it now just reminded me of her much more than I wanted to be. 

Mom and I hadn't always gotten along, but she was my mother. We fought most of the time over stupid things like cleaning my room or making sure I fed the cat.

Great, now I'm thinking of mom and the damn cat.

Sunshine was a little tabby cat that my dad had gotten me when I was 6. I loved that cat when it was a kitten, but as it got older it got very mean. I was literally the only person who could come near him. When I had friends over they were always afraid to leave my room without me. Sunshine did not like visitors. He slept in the little laundry room that was off of the kitchen and if someone, other than me, walked into the kitchen he would jump up hissing and swatting at them and chase them back down the hall.

I had to laugh at the memory.

I wasn't always the best pet owner, admittedly, and it was pretty often that mom and I would fight about whether or not I took care of Sunshine. She'd tried to convince me hundreds of times to just take him to the vet to find him a new home but I had always refused.

After she died I had locked myself in my room for a week. I only came out to use the bathroom or make a sandwich. I had forgotten to feed Sunshine. I guess over those days he got pretty hungry and desperate because when my dad left one day for work Sunshine ran past him and out the door. My dad searched for him for the next two days, but we never found him.

You were right mom.

I stood in front of the closet that my mom's body had been found inside of. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before opening the doors.

You would never know that someone very important had died in here. It looked like any other woman's closet probably does, aside from that fact that one side of the closet was empty. Dad had moved all of his things to the hall coat closet. The other side was full of nice sweaters and cardigans. Mom had always had nice clothes. She always kept herself very well put together even if she wasn't leaving the house that day. On the day she died she had her makeup done, hair perfectly curled, nails polished, and nicely ironed clothes on.

I pushed aside the everyday clothes and reached to the far side where she kept all her dresses. I knew which one I was looking for. I slid the dress off of the hanger, grabbed the matching wedges from the floor and got out of the room. It was starting to become hard to breathe in there.

I went into my room to put it on then checked myself in the mirror. It fit even better now than it had when I used to borrow it from her. My body filled it out more.

It was a pretty emerald green sundress. It had a haltered top and it synched at the waist. I put on the tan and green shoes then sat down to do my makeup. I didn't use a lot. I opted for some nude eyes shadow, and some mascara. The color of the dress nicely accented my eyes so I didn't need much. I applied one of my favorite pink lipsticks and dabbed some perfume to my wrists and neck.

Now my hair.

I used the curling wand to curl my hair and then I pulled back the top half and pinned it in place. This is how Sean use to like my hair the most.

Guilt hit me again. Maybe I should just call Declan and reschedule. I mean, I just broke up with my boyfriend I've been with for years. I had drudged up crappy memories of my mom and Sunshine. Was tonight really a good time for this?

 

The knock on the door was my answer.