I love you, Phil Lester (A phanfic)

Chapter 17

This is full of mistakes jesus Christ help me

Bye

-Cat's POV-

It's that time again. I'm not even half awake, I'm feeling like shit and I look like shit, but my mum wants to talk to me. Great.

"Have you  thought this through? The adoption, I mean?", she asks me. "Yes, I actually thought about it quite a lot and I now think that it's actually a better idea than keeping it and certainly now my boyfriend has found someone else." She immediately starts asking all questions about this 'someone else', quite shocked when she realises it is our former neighbour.

"Daniel? Are you serious?", she almost spills her tea. "Yep, one hundred percent serious business." For some reason, she changes the subject. "I'm sorry for not talking to you for three months." Since she brought it up, she won't mind explaining herself. "Yeah, what was that all about?"

(Get ready for a dialogue between Cat and her mum!)

"So.. At first, I didn't believe you. I thought you lied about what your father did. So, as you know.."

"You kicked me out."

"Uhu. And then your father came home, drunken, for the record and he kinda told me everything."

"About how he raped me?"

"Yes. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! I-I.. Kicked him out of the house too."

"I didn't know that!"

"I know you didn't now. Anyway, after that I was just thinking 'No daughter, no husband, and as you know no parents."

"Because grandma and granddad died."

"Indeed. I just.. I felt really alone and, and I just felt not good. I felt like shit, you could say."

"Know the feeling."

"I kept staying inside, for long, long times."

"You basically were depressed."

"Let's not put a name to it."

"Okay."

"That period gave me time to think about what was best for you. It might've felt like I'd gone crazy when I rushed in and told you about the adoption, but trust me, I had thought it through a lot!"

"Dad was with you. Did you let him in again?"

"Yes, he apologised."

"So? He fucking raped me!"

"Believe me or don't believe me, but I excepted an apology of the man I love, is that weird?"

"So you love him more than you love me?"

"For fucks sake! I needed someone and he was there, okay?!"

"Okay, okay..."

She runs her hands through my hair and gives me an apologising look. "I'm still concerned about you and the baby. Have you gone to the hospital yet?" She quickly focuses her gaze on the clock above the kitchen door when I answer. "Um, no, I haven't." She shoots up in a rush. "I'll make an appointment on my way to work, bye hun." And so she leaves.

Maybe I can go outside today? I'm so used to sitting inside the whole day, doing nothing but think. And outside I can also think, but with fresh air (lol same). I can't exactly remember if there was a Starbucks in the nearby area, but I've got the whole day, so why not explore? As soon as I'm dressed (with dressed I mean a jogging and wide tee shirt) and my hair is done, I'm outside. Once outside, it's still cold, colder than I expected and that's when I realise that I'm always up early lately and it still must be very early. I start walking, little clouds of water damp escaping my mouth as I do, but I soon enough stop when my phone vibrates in my pocket. It's Phil. I answer the few messages he send' me and my phone slides into my pocket again. Out of all people it just had to be Dan. My best friend. The person I had such a good friendship with. I even had a crush on him for a while. Guess I can't blame Phil for falling for him? Dan wouldn't hurt a fly, but he does everything to get something he really wants, I know that. Of course I can't blame Phil. But really? Dan? Out of all people?

***

"I made an appointment, and Thursday we'll be able to go to the hospital!", my mother says cheerfully while entering the kitchen. "That's great!", I answer half sarcastically.

I'm going to the hospital in a few days.. If you wanted to know..
-Cat

"Isn't it? You'll finally know if it is a boy or a girl!", she exclaims, but I'm too focused on getting an answer from Phil.

Oh no! Is everything okay?
-Phil

It's just so they can look at the baby.
-Cat

Oh... Good luck anyway!
-Phil

And.. Um.. Just to let you know: I'm okay with you and Dan being together..
-Cat

REALLY?
-Phil

Yes. I've thought about it and once in my life I also kinda had a crush on him so I totally get it.
-Cat

Cat, you're the best!
-Phil

I know, I know xD
-Cat

How's everything going? Is your dad there?
-Phil

OH THANK GOD NO! He's on a business trip for a week or so.
-Cat

I'm glad to hear that you're okay. Don't ever leave me with such a heart attack ever again!
-Phil

Like you didn't gave me a heart attack by kissing Dan!
-Cat

Whoops! XD
-Phil

Hey, I gtg! Keep strong! Bye bye!
-Phil

Bye!
-Cat

I act all cool about it, but I'll still have to get used to seeing my -now ex- boyfriend and best friend together. But I don't really care right now. I'm glad that Dan's happy, I'm glad that Phil's happy, now there's only one person I'll have to get happy again: me.