I love you, Phil Lester (A phanfic)

Chapter 22

***

It's now Saturday and I'm still here, really wanting Dan to wake up (one of the doctors said to me that that's actually very weird, he should already be awake, at least he's still alive). Of course I know I was allowed to leave, but for some reason (which is obviously Dan) I didn't want to. His mum has come around several times, just for checking on him and me. She brought food most of the time, but I also didn't bother walking to the cafeteria every now and then. During the last days I decided that if he hasn't woken up by tonight, I would just go to school Monday in stead of staying here. I can't skip school forever.

Sometimes I wonder, when I look at how peaceful Dan's asleep, if it would be an inappropriate action to give him a light kiss on the nose. Or if he feels my touch when I hold his hand. Or if he hears my soft whispers in his ear. "Dan,", I start, softly and with a kind of cracky morning voice, standing up and starting pacing around his room. "At the beginning of this year I'd never thought that I would like this girl named Cat. We were together for just a week when I started doubting. No, actually I've been doubting my whole life. I feel like Cat was some sort of excuse, I didn't want to except that I liked boys and Cat liked me and she was a nice, pretty girl. Besides, it was just for a few weeks, like... I was just not the one who believed in relationships that lasted forever, no relationship does. But then she got pregnant, which I thought was very weird because we never did it. She was honest about the rape, course she was, because she thought I would think that she cheated. I'm a nice person so I asked my mother if she could stay with us. And then I knew it was kinda meant to be to last forever. Guess that was stupid." I turn my head to Dan and smile at how messy and adorable his fringe is: "Because after that you came around. That was quite a change." My hand drifts to his and I squeeze it tightly before going on: "The best change ever, that is what you are." With my lips I give him a kiss against his forehead. He's literally so, so beautiful.

***

They're not much people in the cafeteria from the hospital at 1PM for all I can see. I quickly grab a sandwich, pay for it and head back upstairs. I thought I knew the way back to room 308 by now, but apparently I'm very forgetful because I ended up at the other side of the hospital. A long walk and much hallways later I'm finally back at the beginning of the hallway where Dan's room is in. When I open the big door I can see how there's a nurse in standing in front of his door, she walks up to me the moment she sees me. "Hi, your friend Daniel-" "Boyfriend", I cut her off. "Yes, your boyfriend, he finally woke up! He's healthy for as far as we know." I push her aside and make sure that I'm as fast as possible besides his bed. "Dan, you're finally awake!", I hover over him, but clearly he finds it a bit overwhelming. "He's still very confused,", a male voice behind me says. "We still have to investigate what it is exactly that he has. It could be that he's perfectly fine. If that's the case, he can go home with you and his mother this evening." The only thing I do is nod and looking at Dan. I can't help it, I want to kiss him so badly. So, why not? I smash my lips on his and to my surprise he kisses me back. From his lips I go to his neck for giving him small kisses. "All good and well that you two are a happy couple, but keep the cheeky things for a more private place please", the man says, a bit smiling. I lift my head up so I can look Dan in his eyes. Suddenly, he starts to speak: "Your kisses are nice and I like your fringe, mate! But.. Who exactly are you?" What?! No, no, no, no, no! He has to remember me! My eyes widen in shock, out some sort of instinct I turn to the doctor; Maybe he can do something about this? "I wanted to tell you", he calmly says. How can he be so relaxed? Is it normal for a patient to wake up and not remember his own boyfriend? "You see that infuse?", he points at infuse hanging on the hook of a pole with casters. "Yes, I see that." "Well, in there is something he needs for staying alive during this 'sleep', we could say. Every human reacts different on this, and in Daniel's case it's amnesia." I raise a questioning eyebrow at him. "Amnesia means memory loss." The chair behind me is sure for a good cause right now, I sit myself down. Will Dan ever remember what happened, is he now forgetting everything? I shoot up and grab for his hand, looking him straight in the eyes. "Do you really not remember me?", I ask, almost tears filling my eyes.

I'm sorry for writing this stupid filler, but I'm in the hospital and it's hard to keep reality and fiction apart :p

Bye bye