Real

4.

We're out of the music room now. I'm actually sweating right now. I can feel the salt water on my forehead and armpits building up. The time has come. I put my binder in my backpack, grab my uniform, make up bag and curler and make my way to the changing room. Walking down the hallway. It seems all different today. It feels intense. Everyone's walking without their backpacks with smiles and all the talks about the game. I hope I could just watch myself perform and not actually perform. Actually feels surreal. Yay. I'm officially jabbering in my mind. I'm always excited about these kind of events. Because I can show my skills off. Today it just feels all off. Well I have to go up there anyway so, doesn't matter how much I keep thinking about them. Can it be any easier? Or actually, can it actually be any harder? Nothing can build up confidence if you don't feel right, right? I guess so I mean. If you don't even wanna know that thing then it makes no sense but no ones right her to say no pressure to me right now. I admit that I have the best parents in the world but I mean they are busy with their lives too. Though they are still gonna come today. They would never miss me performing for this big of an opportunity. The deal always says that, you give and you get but I don't think that it always like that. Whatever. Why am I even being so philosophical about this issue?

'Hey!' I hear someone from my back.

'Hey! Shouldn't you be practicing right now?' I ask. It's Jackson.

'Yeah but I just found you and I had to take it out of me.' Ohk. He seems serious.

'What is it?' I ask.

'I cant do this anymore Lucy.' He says and a wave hits me.

'You cant do what anymore?' I ask and it looks like he's not even standing there anymore.

'I hate to say this but I don't this is working out.' He says like I'm an object.

'Can you come out clear please?' I say annoyed as hell now.

'I'm breaking up with you. Are you happy now? You should have seen this coming I mean. Specially after what happened today.' He's kidding right?

'You're kidding right? Because honestly this is not a good time for that.' I say and my eyes start filling with water.

'Does it look like I'm kidding? I mean I'm completely serious. I don't feel the spark between us anymore.' Spark?

'Are you serious Jackson? And the spark. We were never like a romantic couple from a movie. We don't need to be like that. I mean. Can you just tell me the real reason because I cant take your fake shit anymore. Also, today morning you said something that I found suspicious. And what do you mean by what happened today?' I literally shout and feel other people's eyes resting on us.

'Can you keep your voice down please. I don't want people to look at us. Today at lunch. They were literally laughing at you. I mean I don't need girlfriend who gets laughed at.' Ouch.

'What the hell Jackson? I thought you were bette than that. Wow. I don't even know what to say. You know what fine. Better you regret than I. So, I'm breaking up with you. I wanted to it from so long. But I was afraid because it would ruin my reputation but now I don't freaking care because you know what?' I ask exaggerating every word and crying.

'What?' He asks with all the bit of anger he has.

'I don't date asses.' I say and leave from their running with all of my stuff.

I feel like I'm running at the speed of sound right now. I'm in shock. Shock. I cannot believe that it just happened. I broke up. Or should I say he broke up? Is this even a time to ask certain questions to myself. This is one of the biggest things happened in my life till now. Our relationship was three years and going forward. I didn't expect it to end it just yet. It was wrong but it just feels so right. I have even stopped crying now. Should I feel bad for myself or him? Because I don't think he is feeling bad. The way he was talking was just so rude. Rude. Rude. And also so feelingless. It felt like every thing about me had just been gone from his heart the second today's lunch started. But he just couldn't say it then I guess.

I enter the changing room and all the quirky and cheeky cheerleaders are staring and laughing at me not realizing that they are my juniors. Most of them.

'Hey. Are you okay?' Bree comes and asks me.

'Yeah, why?' I say with rage.

'I saw what happened at lunch. I wanted to help you but I wanted to give you some time to yourself.' She says with fake sympathy.

'Oh really! Because I saw you laughing with all the other jerks.' I taunt and her eyes show disgust and she leaves.

Now thats what I wanted.

I remove my clothes and put on my interestingly tightened uniform. Its black, white and navy showing a lil of my stomach in a diamond shape. I love it. I occupy one of the mirrors and start doing my make up. Which I don't like to do often.

Foundation, check.

Eyeshadow, check.

Mascara, check.

Red lip, check.

Blush, check.

And I'm done. I open my straight hair and and tie it in a high pony and two bobby pins to support it. I curl my hair from the bottom, as the instructions are given. It looks pathetic but now I cant do anything. I go back to my change room locker to put all my stuff inside. And I see "PASTA" in spray paint written on it. Well I'm just laughing it off right now. I put spandex underneath my skirt and put the designated white sneakers given to us which are as much as I hate to say, pretty.

Our performance is at the half time space. Till then we're gonna sit at one of the side benches and cheer the signature step on every touchdown. 

The football coach knocks on our door and when I open it he screams for us to get out. We all get in a line and go out, me first as the captain and the M.C.

As we go out I see the audience. Two thousand people at the least. I'm not gonna let nervousness take the best of me. We walk waving our pom pom's to everyone. Others take a seat and I'm handed the mic.

'Hello Lockwood Fans!' I shout. I can hear the blasting cheers of the girlfriends, the parents, and others.

'Are you ready for the game?' I shout again. I can hear everyones cheer.

'Here are our Wolves!' I shout and the team comes out in their white and blue uniform. Jackson being the captain. Why?

They all stand in a line and and wave their helmets. The other team must be feeling so insecure. Who cares.

'Let the games begin!' I say and do a backflip going back to my bench. Being immensely happy.