Memories

First Love

I was right there, standing by the last bench at a corner. I was right there watching  the events take place as he lean down just as she met him half way. I was there until their lips met, and was still there until there's none but me left.

The sky had gone dark just as the sun had retired and left like everyone else, just like the tears that had dried. The wind started to blew colder, but the chills doesn't affect me anymore than it should have. I guess, I've gone numb. And I don't know if that would make me happy or not.

The scenario keep replaying in my mind's eye, bit per bit, as if I'm watching a movie. Only this time, it's not taped nor filmed, but actual and live. I've been a fan of theatre and plays, much more Broadway, but watching the two of them, I just wished I never loved Broadway that much. Because as much as they're live, the emotions I've felt are nothing in comparison to the ones I've felt before. And I keep wishing that I'm not this affected as I should have.

I have no reason to, after all.

Just as there's no way for me to find a reason to.

Because it's my idea, my plan, that took place before my very eyes.

It was my decision to pursue what I know would make them happy.

I just forgot to consider what would be its effect on me in the end.

All because I felt what I shouldn't have, I've owned what wasn't mine to. And I have no chance to realize it sooner just before I have nothing to do anymore.

Who would have thought that it would be my first experience at love?