Bad Boys Can't Love

Lose to Get

   Okay. Basic pic of something close to Adam as a banner. SPOILER FOR THIS CHAPTER: I just want to make it clear that the idea of the title is that Sarah figures that to get back Asher, she'll have to lose Adam. So she's trying to make an overwhelming decision. Sorry I just needed to make that clear. SPOILER OVER. Thx, enjoy- vote and comment! Xoxo -Annie

    I wake up, my alarm blaring like a siren in my ear. I shut it off, looking around. Textbooks and notebooks are scattered around me. Why do I always fall asleep studying? I pray that Asher has forgiven me, which I know he didn't, but I still pray. I said some harsh, rude, and hurtful things. But why does he care if I'm with Adam? It's not like we like each other or anything.
Stop lying to yourself. Adam isn't the one for you.
Shut up, head.
   I glance down at my phone. I have one message. I quickly open it, praying that it's Asher. If not forgiving me, I hope that he's said something. Speaking, even if it's fighting, is better than not speaking to him at all.
   No, it's from Adam. I sigh, the last person I want to hear from at the moment. The text is from last night.
Hey baby, I'm so glad that we worked things out. I missed you while I was being a jerk, I really did. Xoxoxo see you 2morrow. I might surprise u
   Surprise? What kind of surprise? I turn off my phone, dismissing my thoughts, and get ready.
  I do the norm- brushing my hair and teeth, eating, everything. I decide to wear black converse- as always-, light wash skinny jeans, and a royal blue shirt that hugged my waist, not caring if it was eighty degrees out. As I sling my backpack over my shoulder, I walk out the door, expecting to go to school by myself today.
   Instead, I see a very happy Adam in front of my house, his nerdy green car behind him. I sigh, and then put on a fake, plastic smile.
   He's cute, too, but not hot like Asher. I miss Asher. Anyway, Adam wears his dorky grey tee with blue jeans. His normal converse, which is where my converse phase started, and his black glasses. His hair is messy, but he doesn't rock it like Asher always does.
   "Hey boo." I fake smile quietly. Asher always lets me be sad, or angry, and lets my emotions out, but he's there to comfort me as I do. Adam's more of the guy where I must be perfect and safe and practical. Not reckless. He seems a bit surprised by my choice of outfit. Even though it's not as cool and fun as it is with Asher, it's different from what I always wore before with Adam. I used to wear nerdy outfits that made me look dorkier than I actually was, which is a big thing to say.
    "Hi Baby. I told you I had a surprise." Adam smiles as he wraps his arms around me. We get into his car, and I feel sad that I'm not getting onto a black motorcycle or in my car looking at Asher.
   Still, I manage a plastic smile, the fakest one I've ever pulled. And Adam still doesn't notice it's not real. Asher would have if he were here.

   We get to school, and even though we're both nerds, gossip travels fast. I hear the whispers of us being together, and I take it that Kayla started them. I blush and feel a bit angry for people not minding their own damn business, but Adam smiles at this. Then I realize, Adam must have told everyone. I don't say anything, pretending to be perfect and happy.
    Even though I want everything to be back to how it used to be, just so that I don't have to worry, it's too late. I'm already too far to turn back. Too far into a friendship with Asher. Which I ruined. I'm determined to fix it, but it's hard with Adam around.
   Adam's protective, walking me to classes, his arm always around me. Glaring at boys who dare to check me out. There's one place he can't protect me in. And that's English.
   I walk into English, and Asher sits in his assigned seat next to me. But he's not alone. A girl sits on his lap, and his fingers play with her hair. He shoots a rude look at me, and then kisses her. I get up from my seat, and snarl in his ear as he's smirking, "And you said you weren't the typical bad boy." I stroll out of class after seeing his smile drop.
    I run the girls' bathroom. Why did I say that? I made things worse, after being a jerk yesterday, I'm mean to him again. I don't know who I am anymore. I sob, I need to make it up to him. I need us to be friends again. And than it hits me. I don't know why it took so long, and I don't know where it comes from, but it hits me with a pang in my heart. My eyes fill with realization and my chest feels heavy.
To get Asher I have to lose Adam. That hurts, and I realize I have to make a decision because:
To keep Adam I lose Asher. Either way I'm losing someone.
     I just have to choose who to lose. I bang my head against the sink, yelling at myself. Why?
   I don't want to make a decision, I really don't. I also don't have a choice whether I make one or not.
My choices- the perfect, caring, nerdy sweetheart, or the reckless, cool bad boy that really has a sweet and caring side to him. Again, I know Adam likes me like that. He's safe.
   Asher may not like me like that, but I still keep the bestest friend a girl could ask for. He's still a risk. If I leave Adam, he may still be angry for what I said, heck he will be. It's up to him whether he'll forgive me or not if I chose him. Yeah, he's definitely the risk in the situation.
    Pressure builds up in my head and heart. Got to lose some to get some. So, who do I lose? Adam or Asher? The impossible choice racks my mind. I've always been the safe girl, the girl who did everything practical. The girl who never took risks, never stepped out, just in case it ended poorly. But then again, maybe I've changed. Maybe now I'm a reckless, risky girl, who wants to try new things, and get excited by life. By doing crazy things like not studying for a stupid math final.
  But what do I know?
  How am I supposed to know who I am?
  Birds of a feather flock together. Well, that saying means nothing unless I have really different feathers. Whoever made that up knows nothing.
I sigh, still crying. The bell rings but I stay where I am, trying to decide.

<><>ASHER ROSS POV<><>
   "And you said you weren't the typical bad boy." Sarah Jay growls in my ear. I stop smiling as she casually walk out of class, her bag still in hand. Ouch.
   I pull away from the girl I had been kissing, and I just pick her up and put her on her feet on the ground. She looks at me, confusion spread across her face. "Sorry." I mumble.
   I'm furious at Sarah, sure, but I just want the stupid Adam guy gone. He makes her so different. Either that, or I make her so different. But what she said before leaving class, that hurt. Like hell. I was being a jerk for making out with the girl purposely in front of her, just because she hates players, so I deserved what she said. It just makes me feel like every other piece of trash around, like I mean nothing to her. Which at this point, is probably true to her.
   I don't know why I'm getting so worked up about this. I'm Asher Ross. I don't care, remember? But I do, I care so so much. The old Asher never cared, just did as he pleased. I wonder if the old Asher is still there. I wonder about how much I've changed. At this, the brunette I was kissing makes her way out of the classroom, angrily.
    It's okay, because I have my eyes on a different brunette that had left the classroom earlier.