Bad Boys Can't Love

Slow and Steady Secrets

Part 17: Slow and Steady Secrets

We aren't going to date yet. We want to go slow, ease ourselves into a more serious relationship. I know that this is all new to Asher, he's never actually liked someone before. And it makes me feel good that I have the bad boy.
It's not awkward, just nice. I care so much about him that it's insane. Whenever I'm not around him, I'm texting him.
It's Sunday, and of course we're cuddling. He's the best cuddle buddy. I snuggle into him and smile faintly.
He nuzzles his nose into my hair, and then kisses the top of my head. "Can I ask you a question?" He mumbles aloud. "You just did." I smirk. I've really picked up the whole smirking thing from him. It's now a habit.
"But sure." I say, anxious and nervous for what he's going to say. "What happened with your dad?" Asher asks curiously. The word dad sends shivers down my spine, causing Asher to hold me closer. Not a pleasant word. "Do we have to talk about this right now?" I groan.
"If it's alright." Asher tells me. I sit in the silence for a moment. "Okay." I nod uneasily. He waits, I can't find the words. I can't let the story slip out of my mouth. The kiss he plants on my forehead is all the courage I need.
"My dad cheated on my mom my entire life. He would bring home girls all the time and my mom knew. In fact, she'd walk in on them and then sleep on the couch over night. He never even apologized to her. He wasn't a dad, just a guy who lived in my house. They were never married. In high school, my mom was kinda one of his girls. She got knocked up with me and my dad moved in. She kind of forced him to help her take care of me. They never got married, he didn't love her. She was madly in love with him. But she had to expect it. They were never even boyfriend and girlfriend, though they kissed and stuff. When I was ten, he brought home a girl. My mom snapped. She kicked the girl out, crying, she asked my dad why he had to hurt her. He left, not wanting to deal with her. He left without another word, the only thing he brought with him was a bottle of Scotch and a pack of smokes. He hit the road without a word to me. He's called me before, I haven't answered. He finally stopped calling around the time I turned fourteen." I tell him simply. "How can anyone leave a girl like you?" Asher asks. I shrug, "I'm not as special as you make me out to be." He shakes his head. "But you are, SarBear, you so are."
  I feel the lump in my throat swell as a tear drop trickles down my cheek. I move in closer to Asher and close my eyes. Exhaling, I pause.
  "Tell me about your family. Why do you live alone?" I pause. He stiffens up quickly. "Long story." Asher sighs. "I have time, and I have ears. You can tell me anything." I inform him calmly. He nods, "I know."
Asher's POV
She waits in silence. I don't want to tell her. I've never told anyone. I don't want to tell her, yet I do want to tell her. I want to spill everything right now, let it all out. Express my bottled up feelings.
But I don't want her to feel sorry for me.
"It'll be okay." She reassures me, caressing my cheek. I nod glumly. "Okay." I agree. She smiles faintly before I dive into the story that haunts me each and every day.
"I'm an orphan. But let me start from the beginning. I had two wonderful parents, you know. And a little baby sister. She was only six months old when it happened. I was eight, an the biggest mamas boy. Though, I loved my dad a lot too. My little sister meant everything to me." I pause here, remembering her little hands and tiny puff of hair. I don't realize that I'm crying until she wipes my tears. "What was her name?" Sarah asks me. "Her name was Sarah. Sarah Kaitlyn Ross. I think of her whenever I see you ." I tell her, biting my lip. It's true. She squeezes my hand tighter as I continue, "Anyway, when I was only eight, I got into a car crash with my entire family. I somehow was the only survivor, with a few broken bones. Until I met you, I kind of wish that I hadn't survived. I was transferred into foster care, but I was a trouble maker. When I was only eleven, I was into drugs and alcohol. It the was the only way for me to cope at the time, I guess. I went through so many foster homes, each one kicking me out. I was so lost, so stranded, so confused, so sad. When I was fifteen, I finally got sent to a group home. I was unwanted, no one willing to take a hopeless kid like me in anymore. I had stopped trying. I was my very best in the group home though, because I wanted to get into independent living. Which I did. I lived in that tiny apartment until I turned righter not, and got a place of my own. I was really sad, until I met you. You made me happy. You brought back the giggle I always did when I was little, when my mom used to call me Smiley. My dad used to place baseball with me in the backyard, and would go to all my games. I was the happiest kid. I quit the team after my parents died, it was too much for me. It made me think of them too much. And it hurt. I couldn't think because thinking meant pain and pain sucks." I finish.
We hold each other in silence. Both of our biggest secret are out, and it's comforting. I'm glad I told her because now the huge weight is off my chest. I can breathe and be happy again. I miss them without drenching myself in alcohol and I can relax without a smoke. I guess Sarah is the only drug I need.
I'm crying and she's crying for me. I need someone to hold right now and so does she. It perfect, and I'm not as upset anymore. I close my eyes after placing a kiss on her lips, and drift off into oblivion.
***
The morning comes. Monday. I groan as I hear the piercing music ringing out of Sarah's phone. It's her alarm. I don't want to move. He swings her arm and turns it off. She rolls out bed.
  I finally manage to get up behind her. I have some clothes here that I constantly end up leaving. I head to the bathroom and change into my black jeans, red tee, and black leather jacket. Slipping on my converse and black beanie, I meet her in the hall.
   Her long hair hangs perfectly around her face. She wears blue leggings and a black blouse. She also wear black vans and a matching beanie. We giggle at the same time, noticing our matching beanies.
   We step into the bathroom next to each other, brushing our teeth. "Thanks." I say to her. She looks at me, "What for?" She asks after spitting out the toothpaste. She gargles mouthwash as I answer, "Everything." She smiles and spits out the blue Listerine. She hugs me tight as I finish brushing my teeth. "I have to say the same for you." She whispers to me.
   We eat grilled cheese made by her one and only mother. I thanks her afterwards as we rush out the door and into her car.
  She pumps up some AC/DC, banging her head to the music. I sing along, laughing at how into it she gets. We pull up into the school parking lot, but we sit in the car for a bit. We have a few minutes to spare.
  I turn down the radio and looks at her. We stare into each other's eyes. "Do you have a map? Because I think I'm lost in your eyes." She mumbles. I'm rubbing off on her. The smirking, the pickup lines. I smirk back her smirk, and lean forward.
   Our mouths are only centimeters away. "I'd rather get lost in your lips." I whisper before kissing her.
  We get out of the car, and everyone stares at us. Heads turn and whispers spread already. We're holding hands and her head in on my shoulder slightly. I kiss her cheek and I hear sudden gasps from around us. Immature teens.
   I'm so lost in the moment of walking and showing off the beautiful girl I one over, that I almost don't see the fist about to collide with my face.

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Please! xoxo -Annie