Every Breath She Takes [CURRENTLY ON HOLD]

Chapter 12: Blood of My Blood

The nurse that the doctor recommended was wonderful. She seemed to understand that I had a painful past, and that I didn’t really want to talk about who had fathered my baby. She confirmed both mine and the doctor’s suspicions, though. I was about seven and a half months pregnant. For some reason, it was a great relief to me, knowing how much longer I had to go. But it was also sad. I didn’t want to part with him. I wasn’t ready, not yet, possibly not ever. I made it known that I wasn’t going to hospital to give birth, and she accepted that too. It wasn’t until I asked her that I found out why.

“Oh,” she said, shrugging as she examined me, checking that all was well. “More and more young women are wanting to have home births these days. It’s not necessary to go in now. Plus, having a home birth has the benefits of not needing to book a room and all the details like that. You also have familiar surroundings. It’s only if there is a difficult birth or pregnancy, or the baby’s really early, or really late that we recommend going to hospital. Otherwise, it’s up to the family, or mother,” she added, glancing at me. “But it’s not familiarity for you, is it?”

I shook my head slowly. “No,” I said quietly. “Though this place is more familiar, it’s hadn’t been my home for long.”

“You don’t need to talk about it, darling. It’s alright.”

I shrugged, watching the ultrasound screen absently. I could see my baby, moving about, looking healthy. “Is he healthy?” I asked.

She looked at the screen as well, studying it. “Yes,” she replied. “Very healthy. Especially considering what you’ve both been through. Your illness, I mean,” she clarified when I jumped, and stared at her. I relaxed.

“I know.”

“Do you want to know the sex?”

I shook my head. Inside, I already knew, but I didn’t want her to tell me. “No thank you. I’ll find out.”

“Alright.” She had one last look, and then turned it off. “You’re fine, Sarah. Don’t worry about the baby. They’re going to be fine too.”

“Thank you,” I said, really meaning it.

She smiled at me as she packed up her equipment. “You have around a month to go,” she told me. “Keep things easy. Nothing too strenuous, and nothing distressing. We don’t want a miscarriage now.”

I must have gone pale, for she hurried to reassure me.

“There’s not much chance of that happening, though. That baby seemed more than happy to stay where they are. If anything, they’ll possibly be late.”

Satisfied, I nodded, and relaxed. She left the room, and I got up off the bed. I stood at the window in the nightgown that I had chosen, and that had been delivered literally the next day, along with everything else I’d ordered.

Giving birth to my baby was magical. It hurt, and was hard work, but it was all worth it. I knew that I had hurt Jack from gripping his hand so hard during the birth, but it was all worth it when I heard my baby’s first cry. For a moment, I was reluctant to let him leave me. I didn’t want to lose the connection that I’d had with him for the past nine months. I had no choice, though. He wanted out. The nurse caught him, and wrapped him up snugly, but not too tight. When that was done, she encouraged me through one last push.

“One more, Sarah,” she said. I had my eyes closed, resting, but Jack’s response made me smile.

“Why?” he demanded. “The baby’s out.”

I opened my eyes to see her giving him a glare. “The afterbirth, you idiot,” she said, and addressed me again. “One more.”

I obeyed, pushing hard, and it slid out into her waiting hands. I lay back, exhausted, and closed my eyes. I let go of Jack’s hand, and he tenderly rushed my damp hair off my face. Suddenly, a bundle was put into my arms, and I instinctively closed them around it. I looked down into my baby’s face, and immediately knew that our connection hadn’t been broken. He was still a part of me.