Every Breath She Takes [CURRENTLY ON HOLD]

Chapter 11: Connections

The days went by, but I don’t remember much. I drifted in and out of sleep, and I think in and out of consciousness as well. I don’t know where he slept, though I knew I was in his bed. I suspect that he slept on the couch, but I didn’t ask him. I was too tired whenever he was around. What the doctor had given me was working, though, I think. My throat wasn’t as sore, and I began to be able to say more than a few words without coughing. My fever stayed though, refusing to break. The night it did, though, was one I’ll remember for the rest of my life.

I was freezing, as usual. He came in like he usually did, and I could see the concern in his eyes. I looked at him.

“I’m going to die, aren’t I?”

His eyes widened. “No,” he said firmly. “You’re not. I won’t let you.”

“Really?”

“Really.” He turned and vanished out, but he quickly came back. He gave something to me, and I discovered with delight that it was a hot water bottle. I curled around it, closing my eyes. It felt so good. I didn’t hear him leave, but I woke late that night for a reason I couldn’t explain. I turned my head, and saw that he was in the doorway. I wasn’t scared, I knew he’d been checking on me a couple of times each night, but I had never woken while he was. He saw that I was awake, and came in, closing the door behind him. He brushed my hair off my face gently.

“How are you feeling?” he asked softly. It was like he was afraid to break the almost magical quality of the night.

I looked up at him, my headache gone, for once. “Alright,” I whispered.

He nodded, and moved around the bed. I felt him sliding in behind me, and his arms were soon wrapped around my middle, holding me and the baby. He held me close to him, not trying anything else, just holding me. Slowly, I relaxed, and as I did, I could feel him relaxing as well. Before I feel asleep again, I spoke, still softly.

“Who are you?”

There was silence for a long moment, but I didn’t speak again. I wasn’t going to make him tell me if he didn’t want to. At last, though, he replied, his voice a quiet rumble against my back.

“Jack,” he said softly

I nodded slightly, debating whether to tell him or not. I was expecting him to ask in return, but to my surprise, he didn’t. But I could sense him waiting. I sighed.

“Rökiga,” I murmured. “My name is Rökiga.”

His arms tightened slightly, whether it was in shock, I didn’t know. “What does it mean?”

Again, I hesitated, and he noticed.

“You don’t have to,” he whispered.

I shook my head, though. “It means Smoky.”

Again, his arms tightened around me, this time protectively, and I held on to that sensation as I fell asleep.

When I woke, for the first time since I’d fallen sick, I wasn’t cold. I made to stir, and then realised that he was still with me, still holding me. Moving slowly, I tentatively put my hands over his. He wriggled closer in response, and I found myself smiling. The hot water bottle had gone cold, but I knew that both the baby and I had benefitted from it, and was thankful that he’d thought of it. I moved slightly, wanting to know what he would do. All he did was nuzzle my shoulder, and then collapsed onto me, still asleep. We stayed like that until he woke, but I didn’t mind. It was nice to just be held for once, rather than being forced into something.

When he woke, he stayed where he was for a while. We were both content to just lie there, curiously comfortable in each other’s company. I moved slightly, needing to use the bathroom, but unwilling to get up. He made a questioning sound, but I shook my head.