Chapter Twenty-Six
Diana's P.O.V. 2012
School the next week is different. I feel it as soon as I step into the hallway. All eyes become fixated on me. Usually I am used to the stares. These are different. No one shouts any crude words at me. They just look on as I duck my head, trying to hide behind the enormous stack of books in my arms. What's going on?
I quicken my pace, hoping to reach my first class so I can go unnoticed. In my head I can see my lonely little desk that squeaks every time I sit in it. I never knew I would want to be there so bad. "Diana!" The voice makes me cringe and I act like I don't hear the call. "Diana! Wait up!" The voice repeats again. I sigh, knowing I could not ignore it. One would have to be deaf to not hear the tone of Rachel's voice. I stop, preparing myself for the lecture I would receive along with plenty of threats about ruining my social life. I turn around and surprisingly, Rachel is all smiles.
"What happened? You just disappeared on me! I wanted to talk to you. In fact, nearly everyone in the school wants to talk to you!" Confused, I keep walking, hoping to end the conversation. However, she follows. "After the concert Friday, Zayn tweeted out asking everyone to look for you. He wants to get in touch with you!"
I stop in my tracks. "Wait, he did what?" I question, making sure I heard everything right.
"He wants to find you, Diana! Isn't that great?! Oh just wait until you make a twitter and I introduce you guys! He'll be so grateful he'll do anything! I need you to make a twitter and get in touch with him ASAP!"
Of course. She wasn't excited for me. She just wanted me to comply for her own personal gain. I shouldn't be surprised. This is typical of Rachel. "No, I don't want to talk to him." I lie through my teeth. Her lip-glossed mouth drops open in shock.
"But, Diana! You have to! For some unknown reason this super hot celebrity wants to talk to you! I know, it's surprising why it isn't me but maybe it's some type of, like, sign from God. This is my way to get into contact with One Direction!" She is smiling so wide, it disgusts me. She can insult me and not even think twice about it. I'm not going to have it. I may be ugly and fat but I am not going to be her stepping stool. I refuse to be.
"No, I'm fine, Rachel. I don't want to. You tear me down and only act like my friend so you can get something out of it. So, no. I'm not doing that for someone so selfish." I don't say anything else. I walk towards class, imagining the stupid look on her face. I smile to myself. That felt good.
"Well, that's okay! I don't understand why he'd want to talk to a fat pig like you, anyway!"
I pretend to not hear, but inside my heart cracks. She is right, why would he want to talk to me again? I told him that I'm not worth it. He doesn't even know me. I wasn't even a huge fan but he picked me out of the crowd of crazy fans. Deep inside, I knew I shouldn't talk to him. I should just let Zayn be. He's a world famous pop-star and I'm a small town, depressed girl. We don't go together. Simple as that.
I reach my class and take my seat in the back. Everyone stares and I avert my eyes. I focus on a drawing of a boat etched into my desk. Regardless, I can still feel their eyes boring into me. Rachel's voice resounds. "Guys, stop! Why would Zayn want to talk to some fat ass like her anyway?" There's a pause and everyone agrees. I look up to find a crooked smile plastered on Rachel's face. I was wrong.
Today is just like every other day.
*****
Lunch is like every other day. I don't eat. I try to make myself seem as small as possible. I need that scale to show smaller numbers. I need to be smaller. Bones are beautiful. Fat is ugly. Part of me feels bad for always wasting the food that my mom makes for lunch. I know she tries her hardest to give me a good lunch. When I look at it though, all I see are calories. Unnecessary calories that will completely ruin all my hard work. I can't give in. Mom and dad always makes me eat dinner. If I was going to put disgusting garbage in me, I don't need anything else.
My mind wanders as I absently stare at a corner of the cafeteria. Should I try to get in contact with Zayn? It is a stupid idea. He probably was just leading me on. He's only wanting to have some fun. He only wants to build up a girl so much and then bring me down. People have done that before many times. It couldn't happen again.
Another part of me knows that Zayn wouldn't do that. I watched videos. He didn't seem to be the least bit heartless. Still, the fear remains within me. I can't be hurt like that, again. I'm already broken. If I go through that again, I will shatter. Shattered pieces can't be put back together. But, what if there is a reason he picked me out of the crowd? If I don't do this, I'll never know. If I don't know why, it will drive me insane. I have to know, don't I?
On a whim, I pull out my phone and download Twitter. Quickly, I type in a username and follow Zayn's account. I send out a tweet, knowing that he might not even see this. He has millions of followers and people who tag him in things at random. It's a one in a million chance of him finding me, again.
DianaC97: zaynmalik1d So, you've been looking for me?
The lunch bell rings and I shut my phone off. Gathering my things, I head to my next class hoping that my curiosity did not kill the cat. The usual kids shout insults at me again. However, they've changed up their arsenal. They shout things like, "Zayn was only looking for you as a joke! He didn't think anyone could be so ugly until he found you!" I bite my lip and lower my head. This is only the beginning of the new type of torture. They are right. I'm not beautiful like he said, I'm ugly.
Changing my mind, I pull out my phone to delete the tweet and my stupid account. However, a notification is on my phone screen.
zaynmalik1d: DianaC97 Finally, I found you. I told you I'd be keeping tabs ;)
*Author's Note*
Okay guys, I was literally fan-girling writing this! I cannot say thank you enough! All the support you guys have been giving me is absolutely remarkable. You all are so beautiful and amazing. I'm happy that I'm finally to this part of the story where things really start happening. I love writing this and I am so blessed to have people who read this! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I cannot wait to post the next part. Please vote, comment, follow and share! I love you all so much!
- Shelby x
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Diana (Z.M.)
FanfictionDiana (noun) radiant; beautiful "How can you treat yourself like you're nothing? You're so much more than that." "That's the thing, I am worthless."
