Diana (Z.M.)

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Introduction

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Diana's P.O.V. 2012

"Luis?"

Luis smiles sadly and approaches me, sitting in the chair next to the bed. He takes my hand in his cautiously. Zayn's eyebrows raise in question. "Who's Luis?" He looks between me and Luis in search of explanation. I don't even know how to exactly explain it. I can't very well say ' Oh this is Luis. He used to be my neighbor and I had a massive crush on him until he left and never even responded to my Facebook messages. Luis, this is Zayn, from that little band One Direction.' How in the hell would I even be able to explain to either of them?

"Um Zayn, this is Luis he used to be my next door neighbor."

"And best friend," Luis interjects.

"Yeah, and this is Zayn." I finish the introduction awkwardly.

Luis sticks out his hand for a hand shake and Zayn takes it, both of them never breaking eye contact. I swallow the lump in my throat and look towards Luis. "Don't take this the wrong way, but what are you doing here, Luis? How did you even know I was here? We never even spoke after you went to Mexico; you just..." I quiet trying not to offend him by saying what I was thinking. Left me. He left me.

Zayn notices my nerves and rubs the back of my other hand with his thumb. His jaw is hardened; probably unsure of Luis. "I know but my dad is back for a week to visit my cousin and I decided to come with him. I went to see if you still lived at the same place and your mom told me you were here. So, I wanted to make sure you're okay."

Anger swells within me. Now of all times he wanted to see if I was okay? "I'm fine." I answer dryly. "There was no need for you to come all the way out here." Luis sighs in exasperation and clasps his other hand on top of mine.

"Come on, Di. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just got busy. But I'm here now."

"You just got busy? I understand. I was busy, too. I barely had anytime on my hands after messaging you several times a week just to check on you. When I was falling apart I reached out to you and I never heard anything in return. But you were busy so I guess that makes everything okay." I don't know how I managed to say it all without breaking down.

Luis' face falls and he removes his hands from mine. "I know I messed up, Di. But, I'm here now and-"

"And you're just going to leave me again." I interrupt. Luis sighs and stands up, running his fingers through his hair.

"Yes, I am but its not my choice. Listen, I know you're mad but I just came here to check on you. I see that was a mistake. Just please, start eating, again. I knew before that you were sick and I tried to get you to stop and you didn't. So please listen now. I know you're mad and want nothing to do with me but if you don't listen to anything I've said listen to that."

He looks between me and Zayn and heads towards the door. As he opens it, he looks behind towards me one last time, as if expecting me to stop him; but I don't. He steps out the door and lets it shut behind him. I exhale not realizing that I was holding my breath.

"Are you okay, love?" Zayn asks quietly.

I nod, still shaky and high strung from the previous interaction. "I'm okay. I just, I can't believe after all this time he'd still come back even when he ignored me when I needed him the most." Zayn sighs and adjusts himself so that he's facing me.

"I know it seemed strange, but maybe he did it because he cares about you. Yeah, he messed up but doesn't coming here show he cares?"

"I guess so. It still doesn't make it okay, though. Let's just forget about it okay? I can't waste my time thinking about him." Zayn nods in understanding and drops the subject as asked. I stay quiet for a moment and then speak again.

"Zayn, can you bring the nurse in here?"

His eyebrows raise quizzically. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I answer. "I just want her to take this tube out. I want to get better; for real this time."

Zayn smiles wide and nods, leaving the room to go get the nurse. I am ready for this. I am ready to get better. I have to be.

***

"You're doing really good, Diana." The doctor smiles at me. "In two weeks you've gone up to 1200 calories a day. I'm proud of you." I smile at her. I am proud of myself, too. Even when I felt like not eating and chucking the plate of food across the room I kept chewing and swallowing and all the shakiness and lightheadedness went away. It was a thing of the past.

"Because you're doing so well we've decided to send you home."

"What?" I question as it feels like my heart drops into my stomach.

"You heard me. You are starting to eat and no longer showing any signs of suicidal tendencies. The medicine is working well on you and all of us think it's time for you to get back to your real life. It's time to learn how to eat right in an uncontrolled environment."

I bite my lip nervously shooting a look to my mother who just smiles back at me. My heart pumps loud in my chest and I feel a hand on mine. I look over and it's Zayn; letting me know that he's here with me.

"Okay, but what happens if I have a relapse? I don't want to have anything happen like before."

"Your therapist will meet with you just like she did here. Don't worry. I know you'll be great out there. Plus," he gestures towards my mom and Zayn, "It looks like you have a great support system."

I look between my mom and Zayn. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would have such a great relationship with them like I have now. "You're right. I do." I smile at the doctor, a real smile and he nods.

"Well, let's get all the paperwork done and then you'll be out of here." At that he leaves the room and mom envelopes me in a hug.

"I'm so proud of you, Diana! I know it's a hard thing to kick!"

"Mom, it's not completely gone." I tell her. "I still don't want to eat. I still see myself as fat; but now I know that I have to eat. If I want to lose weight I can't do it by starving myself. I need to do it the right way."

Mom's eyes fill with tears and she wipes them away quickly.

"I'm so proud of you. You know that, right?"

I nod with a small smile. "I know and honestly, I'm proud of myself, too."

Both Zayn and mom hug me before they leave the room, allowing me to get changed into normal clothes for the first time in nearly a month. I tug on my jeans and for the first time I realize how loose they are. I have to put the belt on the last notch for them to stay up. I slide on my grey long sleeved shirt and stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror.

It's hard to recognize the girl staring back at me. She's small and seems to be almost fragile. Her skin is paler than normal and her hair is thinner than it used to be, a result of malnutrition. However, she now has some light in her eyes. Light that wasn't there before. A light that can only be described as one thing.

Hope.

*Author's Note*

Hey guys! Well, as you can tell we are coming upon the end of the book. There is going to be two more chapters and then an epilogue type thing. I cannot even fully explain how blessed I feel and how amazing you guys are. You have stuck with me throughout this journey and commented and told me your own stories every step of the way. I am so grateful and honestly sad yet excited to be ending this book soon. Anyway, please tell me what you think and leave in the comments what you would like to happen at the end of this story. I love you all and thank you so much.

-Shelby x