Tamaki - Haruhi! *Haruhi's in the girls school uniform* HAHAHA! Been waiting long? What's the matter? You look a little down.
Haruhi - I can't help it. Everyone keeps staring at me for some reason. I'm so embarrassed.
Tamaki - *holds Haruhi in his arms* They're looking at you because you are lovely. Don't you worry, I promise that I will protect you no matter what.
Haruhi - Oh, Senpai...That makes me feel better. Thank you. I mean it.
Tamaki opes his eyes and we find out it's just a day dream*
(In Tamaki's mind)
Haruhi - I'm in love-love with you, Tamaki-Senpai.
Tamaki - HAHAHAH! Oh, you!
(back to reality)
Honey - He must be having a great day dream.
Hikaru - He's kind of creeping me out.
Tamaki - Envious, Hikaru? This is all part of my strategy. While you boys did your time blinded by your jealousy, I foresee the outcome of this charade. Aah. This anime is obviously a romantic school comedy. Haruhi and I are the main characters. So that means we are love interests.
Hikaru and Kaoru - Yeah, then what are we?
Tamaki - You boys, are the homosexual supporting cast. *draws magic line with stick* So please make sure that you don't step across this line.
Hikaru and Kaoru - You've gotta be kidding.
Hikaru - Hey, listen boss.
Kaoru - I don't think you get it.
Honey - If word gets out that Haru-Chan is really a girl, then she won't be able to be in the Host Club anymore.
Tamaki - Gah....
Honey - But if Haru-Chan started wearing girls clothes, I bet she'd be even cuter than she is now.
Hikaru - She dressed like a normal girl when she was in middle school right? She must have been pretty popular with all the boys.
Kyoya - Yeah. According to my investigated reports, someone would declare their undying love to her at least once a month.
Kaoru - Oh, I see. So the boss wouldn't even be able to get close to her.
Hikaru - But we could because we're in class with her all day long.
Tamaki - No way...
Haruhi - *opens door* Hey, guys. Sorry I'm so late.
Tamaki - *grabs Haruhi* Don't you worry Haruhi. We're determined to keep your secret. No one will find out you're really a girl during tomorrow's physical exams. So please, promise that you will stay our beloved secret Princess!
Haruhi - Sure.
Hikaru - You know what, I think both of us would be a little peeved if we had to watch all the guys flirt with her.
Kaoru - Then that settles it.
Tamaki - Listen up, squad members! At tomorrow's physical exams, position yourselves in A, and then wait for your orders.
Honey - Oh...
Hikaru and Kaoru - Yes, sir!
Haruhi - I've got it. You guys are worried because if they find out I'm a girl, I can't be a host and therefore can't repay my debt. My balance is 5,333,332 yen. Well, guess I'll have to find another way to pay you back. HEHAHAHAHA!
Hikaru and Kaoru - Do something! The subject doesn't appear to have any motivation!
Tamaki - Grr...Why'd we get stuck with such a difficult heroine. Are you saying that you hate being a host!? That you hate this club!?
Haruhi - To be honest, I'd have to say yes.
Tamaki - GAH! *sulks in corner*
Haruhi - I mean, you guys aren't bad, but if it gets out that I'm a girl, there's nothing I can do, ya know?
Hikaru - She doesn't seem to care one way or the other.
Kaoru - Well, before we do anything else, we have to find out a way to motivate her.
Mori - Fancy tuna...
Haruhi - *gasp*
Tamaki - Oh, that's right...You didn't get the chance to eat during last episode's party, did you?
Hikaru - Did you hear that? She's never eaten fancy tuna before. Isn't that awful?
Kaoru - Wow. Talk about a difficult childhood.
Honey - If only Haru-Chan could stay in the host club, she'd have the chance to eat all kinds of yummy things whenever she wants.
Haruhi - What are you talking about? Don't be silly. Just 'cause I'm poor and I've never had it, doesn't mean that I'm so much of a glutton that I'd go on fooling everyone about my gender just to try some fancy tuna. HEHEHEHEHE. Am I really gonna get to try it?
Everyone - HAHA! *smile*
