Like Before (Niall Horan)

Chapter Thirty-Six: Graduation and Graduation Parties

Steph had stayed over at my house even though we got back with plenty of time for her to go home, she still wanted to stay. I was glad though, because in the morning, we had to rush to get ready. I practically threw on my dress as Steph played with my hair. We had matching waterfall braids on opposite sides of our heads. She had her Harry necklace on that Harry had gotten her and I had my infinity necklace that Niall had given me. My dress was an almost teal blue color and had a v-neck. Steph's dress was an almost sea green color. They looked pretty similar to me, but Steph says they're different. 

We were both wearing flats that had little bows on them, mine looked more crocheted than Steph's and they each matched the color of our dresses. 

Jaesin was meeting us at the school so we grabbed our gowns, caps, and tassels and made our way to my car. Both of us were lost in a nervous silence as I drove us to the school. Everyone else would be there an hour after us since we had to make sure we were all there before marching. 

We found Jaesin in the cafeteria in white shorts and a shirt that was almost the same color as Steph's dress. His shoes were white with blue tread and black tops. "You both look great. Are you guys ready?"

"Graduation will be no big deal." Steph told him but neither of us were convinced by her. She was just as nervous as the rest of us and there was no way for her to deny that.

We sat around just talking about random things before we had to line up. All the girls were in white-ish/silver caps and gowns and the guys were in dark blue. We were told there were a lot of people out there and my stomach dropped. I was way too nervous to give this speech and I felt like I was going to throw up as we started walking.

I couldn't make eye contact with the people I walked by, it was too intimidating. Instead I just walked through, staring at the back of the head of the person in front of me. It felt like the ceremony was going by way too fast. There were a couple of speakers before me, probably four or five and we were on the last one right before me. Most of the speeches had sounded very similar and mine was just like that, but maybe I could change that.

"—Alix Matea." The clapping sounded and thats when I came back from wherever my mind had drawn itself to. I stood up, almost robotically and tripped on the first step, naturally, causing people to laugh. My cheeks flared.

"Thank you." I spoke into the microphone as I shook Ms. Cahill's hand. I scanned over the audience until I saw where my family and friends were. I saw Sarah with Andrew beside her, hands clasped together. Tia was seated on Andrew's lap. Niall was beside Louis on the other side of Sarah and Zayn, Liam, and Harry were on Andrew's other side. All five of those boys had sunglasses and hats on. I don't know how well that was hiding them, but it was worth a shot I guess. I turned to look at my fellow graduates, Steph was smiling at me and Jaesin gave me two thumbs up. 

Shutting my eyes and taking a gulp of air, I started.

"Parents, teachers, fellow graduates," my eyes raised finding Niall's. I looked at the note cards in my hand and I suddenly felt like they were useless. After so much practice, I barely even needed them, and that felt wrong. I couldn't stop my hands from setting them on the podium and just leaving my planned script altogether. "So I wrote this really extravagant speech that had a lot to do with how embarrassing high school was and the cliched line saying that this is where our lives actually begin. It was teacher approved and everything. But now that I think of it, thats not really what I want to say. Ands thats probably not what anyone wants to hear either." 

A few people from my class clapped and more people scattered through the audience joined them before I continued. "I was asked the other day what I wanted and I didn't really have an answer because I wasn't usually asked that question. It seems like high school is a lot of doing what other people want. You do the assignments your teachers want, you turn them in on the right days like they want, you do everything that you need because your parents want you to, you struggle for those A's because thats what colleges look for and maybe along the way, you forget what you want." My eyes scanned around at the people sitting throughout the audience. I found Steph's Mom in the crowd. She was swaying a little in her seat and I wondered if she was drunk.