Same Old Days

chapter 4

(a/n 5sos is back on stage & oml I'm so happy & they're in London now so woo 😊🙈)

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"Luke i swear to the lord above if you touch my pizza one more time I'm going to hurt you."

"Correction: I didn't touch i just almost touched it. But i didn't touch it."

"Asshole"

"Butthole"

This was the argument between Luke & Calum going on & quite honestly it was really funny.

"Okay, Luke you stop 'touching' Calums pizza & both of you shut up, I'm getting a head ache gosh." i said trying to break it up.

"I still didn't touch it" Luke mumbled but i let it go.

I wonder where Mikey's been the past few days it's almost been like he's ignoring or avoiding me. I didn't do anything wrong though so I'm not sure. Maybe i just wasn't worth his time. I'm not worth anyone's time.

You're right who would want a fat bitch with relationship problems.

You're so fat & ugly don't eat that pizza it'll just make you worse. Ew.

These voices in my head have been going on for a while & honestly I'm getting kind of tired of it. Because I'm actually starting to believe them.

It was after 5th period, only 2 more to go, finally. I was at my locker getting things & trying to run to class so i wasn't late when i ran into someone & dropped all of my books.

"I'm so sorry i should've been watching where -" i looked up at who it was & i nearly jumped out of the freaking roof when i saw who it was.

"Hey babe, where have you been lately i never get to see you anymore, it's like you hate me." my douche of an ex stated.

"There's a reason for that & you know that so move & get out of my way." at this point there was no one else in the hallway & i started panicking.

"Oh honey, you're not going anywhere without me." he said as he shoved me up against the locker & started kissing down my neck.

All of the memories started coming back. This can't be happening. I burst into tears but of course he didn't care.

Flashback //

"Alex please stop i don't want this we're only in 9th grade." i squeaked out as he was trying to undress me. I didn't want this not now & possibly never.

"Shut up & let me do what i want to do with you bitch!" he yelled in my face as he slapped me across the face.

I was trying my hardest to stay calm. He's been abusing me for a month now but he has never tried raping me which is what was happening now. Lord please help me.

"Alex! Get off of me!" i screamed as i shoved him off of me, & managed to get back on all of the clothes he had taken off of me, then ran as fast as i could down the stairs & into the drive way.

End of flashback //

"Get OFF of me!" i screamed. This was going to far by now i was sobbing & tears were like a waterfall going down my face.

Suddenly Alex was thrown off of me & i fell against the lockers from not being able to breathe. I glanced over & saw Michael punching Alex continuously. By now Alex had a bloody mouth & probably a broken nose. As much as i wanted him dead i couldn't let Michael do that so, i ran over to him & pried him off of Alex.

"You told me to stay away from her but you're the one who should be going to jail now. Dick." Michael yelled as i pulled him away.

"Michael, what did he tell you?" i asked because Alex knew a lot about me, more than he should & i don't want Michael to know most of it. Not yet at least.

"He told me to stay away from you because you belonged to him & he seemed pretty intimidating so i avoided you but i completely regret it now & I'm so sorry." he rambled.

"It's okay. I get it, you were trying to protect me & yourself. I'm such a bad person you don't deserve me you deserve someone as a better friend maybe i should just leave you & the boys be." i hated not being friends with him but i couldn't risk falling for him or any of the boys & they all deserved a better friend.

"Alyssa-" Michael started but i cut him off.

"Michael please don't make this harder than it has to be." & with that i walked away. Well ran but same thing.

(a/n school was still in session but the office didn't see Alyssa leave. Lol okay.)

When i got home i ran upstairs avoiding my mom. The last thing i needed was her being mad at me for no reason & slapping me.

Then my door burst open with my mom raging mad. Why? Why now?

"Mom what-" i was cut off by a loud & hard slap to the face.

Fuck that hurt. I ran out of my room to the bathroom & quickly saw that my face was bleeding from the impact.

I heard my mom yelling from downstairs to me.

"Get your ugly self down here right now & pick up the kitchen, I'm going out!"

Great she's gonna get drunk. At least she won't be home & i can tend to my face & stuff. I'll probably be home alone all night. I decided to clean the kitchen so she wouldn't get even more mad when she got home. I turned on music but nothing was helping. I was alone because i screwed everything up with Michael & he was keeping me strong. Lexi & I haven't talked for a few days. I've talked to Anna but only at school about random things. I seemed so happy but no one saw how alone i was. Frick it i need this.

***trigger warning!***

I went back into my room & found my blade in my dresser. I locked my door even though no one was home. At first i thought about what Lexi said about calling her first but i pushed it to the back of my mind.

"I'm sorry for being such a screw up." i mumbled to myself as i placed the blade over my old cuts that were beginning to heal. To late now to fix that.

I placed 10 new cuts on each arm & i think they may have been deeper than expected because suddenly everything went black.

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A/n sorry for the cliffhanger hehe. But thank you for reading & i love you guys!💕
I sorta feel like I'm rushing into everything but ..you know. I'm trying to make it interesting i guess lol. Okay byee 🙈