Drifting Away

Chapter 1: The story

Pretending is hard. I am forced to pretend that I am okay, Every day of my life. Why? well if I didn't mess everything up all of the time, maybe I wouldn't have to pretend all of the time. All I want is to actually be happy and do something that benefits Adam and I. Not destroys us.

If you were wondering, My name is Sierra Blackwell. Adam is my boyfriend who seems to be mad at me all of the time. I want to change that. I want to stop Adam and I from drifting apart. I need to change, I can't be the horrible girlfriend that I seem to be lately. I want everything to be Okay. It's really hard to fix something that seems so broken though.  Adam had been my best friend for six years before we started dating last year. Sometimes I wonder if I made a mistake by saying yes to him. If i had never said "yes" then him and I could have been best friends  (who secretly had a crush on each other) forever. That would have been great.

We haven't gone very far in our relationship though. We had Our first kiss, Our first make out and a trillion "I love Yous". The "I love yous" are my favorite though. Within our first month of Dating, Adam would tell me that he loved me,  a trillion times a day. But Now I'm lucky if he says it once a day. Of course I say it too a lot. 

For a long time, I had a crush on Adam. But for a long time he was after other girls. Of course I got jealous of the other girls and wished I was them. One time while Adam was dating a girl named Layla, I almost lost Adam because i was jealous. Then I learned that I need to keep the Jealousy to myself.

Adam and I have nearly broken up a handful of times, but somehow I usually make it better. Usually when we argue, it's about stupid things, Like stuff that might happen in the future. Almost always we resolve our conflict in the end. Going out in public we pretend like we're the perfect couple and make ourselves look like we didn't just get out of an argument.

A lot of people seem to be Jealous of Adam and I. When someone says they're jealous of us, I feel bad because they have no idea whats going on underneath our fake smiles. Every time we argue, we say mean stuff to each other and then totally forget about it in the morning. But lately, Arguments for us, last two or three days.