Drifting Away

Chapter 4: Gone?

Well I woke up this morning and nothing was better. I think that I'm being ignored. Adam hates me and It's all about a joke. I was Just kidding. But cheating might not have been the best think to be kidding about.  I'm so stupid. Why would I say that? All I remember from last night is being happy and then being ignored. I don't to lose Adam. Not now. 

I want Everything to stop being so difficult. I want to change and make Adam happy to be with me. I don't want to keep messing everything up. I want to fix what I broke. 

Okay well its two hours later and Adam Is finally talking to me again. The only thing is, When I asked if we were "okay" all he said was "sure". What is that supposed to mean. Does it mean we really are okay or that he just doesn't want to be annoyed with all of my apology texts and is just saying that. I'm really confused but I'm also relieved that I have him back. That took a really long time though. I don't want that to ever happen again.

I have come to realization that I need to change. I need to change my attitude towards Adam and I Need to be nicer and watch what I say. If i don't start being careful about what I say then I will be dumped quicker than I can type 'JK'.  I need Adam and i don't want to lose him. If I lose Adam, I will probably die. I don't want to have to learn to be alone again. Last time I was left, I cried for almost a month before I realized that the guy was a jerk and that I need to get over it. 

Having to get over Adam, Is not something I want to do. I want Adam. I need Adam. Without Adam, I am nothing. I will never know what to do with myself if I lost Adam. I can't lose my one and only friend, Best friend and Boyfriend. Especially when they are all the same person built into one nearly perfect Boy. 

I really Hope that Adam and I are going to be okay.