Picture this: It's a beautiful day. The sky is blue and the sun is shining. The birds are singing and...
ALL OF A SUDDEN, A SHIRTLESS AND PANTSLESS DUDE STARTS SLOW-WALKING ON THE STREET. HE LOOKS INTO YOUR EYES AND WINKS.
YOU'RE SWEATING, AREN'T YOU? DON'T EVEN DENY IT.
He immediately catwalks up to you and starts flirting. He says a lot of intelligent and sensitive things like, "That dress does NOT make you look fat." And follows up with even more intelligent and sensitive things like "Hey did you know I'm a Slytherin? I could Slytherin to you, if you want. ;)"
And then you're all. *GIRLY GIGGLES. BLUSHES*
Then you remember: You never asked his name!
"Oh, psh, right, pardon my manners. It's Olaf, the Snowman."
"Really? That's such a beautiful n-- Wait... the Olaf the Snowman? From Frozen??"
"Yeah! See?" The almost-naked sexy man suddenly has a nametag that reads: WATTPAD ANON. CHARACTER: OLAF FROM FROZEN.
And you're like:
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At this point you just faint from shock because wtf.
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So, let's all admit. We fall for people for their looks as well as their personality. It's human, don't worry, don't feel like a slut. Looks are, after all, the first thing we see and, in truth, are the firstest of first impressions.
It's understandable that you would want a sexy fc for your character. You wanna make a good impression on peeps, yeah? You want to make it clear to the wattpad world that you mean business. Lesbi honest, it would be hard to be taken seriously by other folks if your fc was, let's say, Shrek (sorry, he and Cesar Milan were the only people I could think of).
But- and here comes the big but(tS AND I CANNOT LIE)-
What if your face claim LOOKS NOTHING LIKE YOUR CHARACTER AND HE'S JUST A TOOL TO FISH FOR OTHER SEXY PEEPS, WHO BY THE WAY DONT EVEN ACTUALLY HAVE THAT FACE?
Anons are ruined everywhere, because of this. ._. Subsequently, when one chooses a face-claim that obviously does not suit the character, they become less suited in actually roleplaying as the character, and as a result, they RUIN THE CHARACTER WITH THEIR NONEXISTENT WARDROBE AND THEIR OOC-NESS.
Now, just because an anon has a good-looking fc doesn't mean they're a bad roleplayer. If your character is someone who is actually supposed to be a bodybuilder, or something along those lines, great.
But- lyke- guuuurl, I'm sorry, but Brock O'Hurn would NOT make a good match for Vector from Despicable Me. His hair is LIGHT. Vector's is DARk. And Vector has is something like 95% chicken nugget. No muscles at all, dude. At all.
The most annoying part of this, of course, is the reason WHY these people purposely choose unsuitable, 10/10 would bang faces to characters that aren't even supposed to be remotely good-looking. And the reason is this: TO FISH FOR LADY PANTIES AND MANLY HELLO KITTY BOXERS.
Everyone on here wants to date & bang nowadays, and that is ALL THEY WANT TO DO. Jfc. I can even imagine the scene from Thor replaced with wattpad peeps xD
Tumblr person/Thor: But Daddy I love him! We are roleplayers and he is looking for a romance!
Tumblr daddy/Odin: He is a wattpadian! Looking for romance is their defining trait!
Wattpadian dude: *hitched breathing*
This isn't for everyone, of course. I know there are still a lot of you who don't do this and you know who you are. :) I'm just talking about the others. *heart*
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"I'm so ugly. Shower me with compliments plz" -Anon
ACTUALLY, YOUR FC IS UGLY.
ACTUALLY, YOUR FC ISN'T EVEN UGLY, YOU JUST WANT SOMEONE TO FAWN OVER YOUR ATTENTION-SEEKING SELF. STOP THAT.
Another thing: WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OF YOU????/?//?
Another thing: It wouldn't be half as bad if they didn't post SO MANY DAMN PICTURES LIKE IT'S THEIR ACTUAL SELF.
Maybe it'd make sense if they were making like a journal thing and the pictures depicted them actually DOING stuff, like going to the beach or eating out with friends and doing everyday stuff.
Like, if you're gonna pretend to be a character, might as well make it look like you're having a blast, right? But NO.
NO.
It's nothing but selfie after selfie after selfie! Like,
Hi everyone look at my sexy bod! #nopantsneeded
2 hours later: Hey guys! Missed me? Have another picture of my sexy face! #noshirtneeded
30 minutes later: Omg guys I had such a rough day. I went to Subway and they gave me five ice cubes in my drink instead of six. Pls shower me with compliments. Also, enjoy this gif of my sexy face looking at the ground all emoish and sad. #noshirtorpantsneeded
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HAVE YOU NO DIGNITY?
So yeah, this ends our rant for today.
Be in-character. Choose a fc that suits you. Don't post 19401394831 selfies like it's your own face.
AND DON'T FISH FOR LADY PANTIES SIX MINUTES AFTER JOINING.
