Degrees of Separation

Hers: [2] Anger

It has been days since he broke up with me. I lost count on days I have been waiting for him to call again, to tell me that it was just a lie, to tell me that he still loves me. But it never happen, he never called again.

Did he really move on?

Tomorrow's supposed to be our fifth year anniversary. How could I forget?

A soft thump on my window drew my attention away from my review materials. I continued to ignore it and focused on reading. The next few thumps were a lot louder than the first so I decided to look after it.

I peeped at my window and found Clyde outside, where my mother used to stand whenever she's taking care of her plants. He's holding a small sign, written was a cute 'I'm sorry' on it. I was supposed to be angry at him but I can't suppress my smile.

He cancelled on our date on last minute. His reason was completely reasonable and I understood it but I can't help to be pissed at him because I was planning to tell him that I want to be his girlfriend.

I went out and met him, pretending that I am still angry.

"Anong ginagawa mo dito?" I asked.

He pointed the banner he was holding.

"I get it, Clyde. Pero gabi na sana ipinagpabukas mo na lang."

He shook his head as a response.

"Bakit hindi ka nagsasalita?" I asked, my voice slightly rose. "Parang tanga naman 'to."

He gestured 'wait' and reached for his cellphone on his pocket. He started typing.

'Sabi mo kanina ayaw mong marinig ang boses ko.'

"When?"

He typed a reply again, 'When I called you that I need to cancel our date?'

"Sinabi ko 'yon?" I asked and he nodded.

I scolded him for that. "I only said that because I was annoyed at you." I reprimanded.

He typed again and I nearly slapped my face. 'Apology accepted?'

I snatched his phone and started typing. When I was finished, I showed him my answer, 'I can't stay mad at you because I love you, you idiot.'

I should stop thinking about our memories. I shrugged my thoughts at the back and deepest part of my mind.

I thought I was doing okay. I thought I have finally accepted it. But when I saw him with someone else? Everything came back. His voice. His stares. His promises. The pain.

Why was it so easy for him to let go? I can't even do something that doesn't remind me of him. It's like he's everywhere.

If I knew he'd break me like this, I shouldn't have gambled my heart.

I wish he broke up with me earlier. Iyong hindi ko pa siya minahal ng sobra. Iyong hindi pa siya kasama sa lahat ng plano ko. Iyong hindi pa siya ang lahat saakin.

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