I was hurt. I was scarred.
Staring at my reflection through this shattered mirror, I couldn't help but to get angry at myself more.
Clyde Adviento, you were such a fucking asshole.
You hurt her, and do you think after all those years, she still feels the same?
I could've understood if she's angry at me.
I could've understood if she hurt me back.
I could've understood if she threw things at me.
I could've understood if she slapped and punched me.
But, she never did those things, instead, she offered me to be her friend again.
Those five words.
'We can still be friends.'
She even sent me their wedding invitation.
I couldn't be angry at her. I can't blame her if she already loves someone else. I can't blame her if she couldn't reciprocate my feelings, anymore. I can't blame her if I still feel the same and she doesn't, anymore. I can't blame her for my sufferings. I can't blame her for my misery. All I could blame is myself.
Because, I did this to myself.
Anger consumes my whole being.
Right now, I am so angry at myself.
I'm angry at myself because I can't be happy for her.
I'm angry because I'm still hoping for us.
I'm angry at myself for wishing for them to break up.
Fucking selfish bastard.
--
BINABASA MO ANG
Degrees of Separation
Romancewe broke up. a novelette former title: the anatomy of break-up first published 2016. revised 2020. lathalass all rights reserved.