Degrees of Separation

Hers: [4] Desperation

I never thought that I would come to the point that I couldn't literally sleep every night. I even barely eat my meals. As I kept the pain by myself, it became more painful. Like someone was slowly cramping and breaking my heart into million pieces. I don't even know where to start.

As I watched myself in front of the mirror, I couldn't identify myself anymore. I am physically and emotionally wrecked.

I was desperate to get him back that I lost myself in the process.

I always thought that holding on was the hardest part of loving but I came to a realization that letting go was the hardest one, especially when you really don't want to but you have to.

And it took me a long time to fully let him go.

Days passed.

I smiled when it is needed.

I laughed even if I don't want to.

I continued my life without him.

But when I'm alone, that's when I let myself cry. Silently.

Not until he came.

Apollo.

He changed everything. Even my heartbeat.

He's nowhere close to being perfect. He had his own shortcomings. We had fair shares of arguments. But at the end of the day, we always end up with each other.

He loves me. He never got tired of me. He never hurt me.

I thought I couldn't love again after Clyde. But I was wrong.

Because, for one last time, I bet my heart again.

And I knew, he's worth it.

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