Fridays I'm Frank (Poems)

•School Slut•

Okay, so I'll admit... Yeah, sometimes I go through relationships like a girl goes through lipstick. Sometimes I go through relationships like kids opening presents on Christmas, like flicking a row of dominoes and watching them tumble over one by one. And it's because of this that I have to walk down the halls behind a forced smile and clenched teeth. It's because of this that I get dirty looks and girls telling my boyfriend that they're disappointed in him for dating me.. While I'm sitting right next to him. It's because of this that when I hear the words "slut" or "whore" I automatically assume that it's about me. So.. Dear Nosey Rude Judgmental Bitch, Trust me... I don't "go through" relationships because I want to. I do what I do because I have a legitimate fear of simply being alone. I don't treat people like toys and then throw them away when I get bored, that's just not who I am. Not a single person has asked MY side of the story before calling me a slut or starting a rumor behind my back and making people actually believe it. Through every relationship I've had all year I've only broken up with two of them... All the others, broke me. But does anyone know that? Does anyone CARE to know that? I try so hard to be the best I can be but for some reason it's never enough... Or it's too much.
Last year, I was called a slut so often that my best friend told me she couldn't hang out with me anymore because she didn't wanna be seen with the School Slut.
"Sticks and Stones may break my Bones" but words used to tear me apart, till I was nothing but raw, and broken, and bloody for all the world to see like I was a fucking museum display. But oh, how DARE me to pity myself. How DARE me to think I had a right to privacy. How DARE me to be lonely. How DARE me to want to love someone... To always love someone. I'm sorry, I didn't know that wanting to give my whole heart to people made me a whore. I'm sorry that I wasn't prepared for your parade of opinions that you've CLEARLY imprinted into my brain. I'm sorry that it's none of your business but somehow you always find a way to creep back into it.
If I've learned ANYTHING, it's that I will never again apologize for who I am, what I'm afraid of, and how I feel. Your words no longer affect me, so if you're looking for a reaction you're not gonna get one here. I know who I am and what I'm not and if you judge me simply based off of your opinions then you're just toxic and a waste. So.. Dear Nosey Rude Judgmental Bitch, why are you so busy trying to fit into our shit-faced society by criticizing my life choices when you haven't even SLIGHTLY figured out YOURS yet.