I was rushing through the streets leaving my friend abandoned at the restaurant. That simple message made me feel like I was about to lose everything. My best friend; my crush; my anchor in this cruel, fucked up world. My mind completely void of everything but the mental map to the apartment. Salty sweat and tears stung my eyes. Hair being whipped and weaved into knots by the wind. My lungs began to burn, my muscles felt like jelly, but I ran. I ran for the sake of the person I loved the most in this world. 'I'm sorry. I just can't take this torture anymore. I want you to know I love you. I always have.' That one message on constant repeat. I was losing my mind. I pushed my already very overworked body to go faster.
"I need to be there NOW god damnit!" I yelled at myself. My body bursts through the doors of the building. My legs carried my body, almost as if I was flying, up four flights of stairs. I slammed into his apartment door with all my weight but, it didn't budge.
"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!" I screamed. I was a sobbing mess by now. My throat raw from gasping for air.
"I just need you to be okay." I gave a glare at the door and slammed into it again. Over and over, I repeated this willing the door to lose the battle. Bruises forming on my battered body. Finally the door let me win. I made a mad dash through his apartment to his bathroom. There in the tub I saw his orange hair. A strangled cry rang from my throat. I fell to my knees next to the oval shaped, porcelain grave. Reaching into the ice cold water, letting it shock my limbs numb, I pulled his body out and into my lap. There I hid my face in his hair and cried.
"You didn't give me enough time to get here. I could have changed your mind! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME!?" I was shouting, sobbing and punching the floor. I must have been there for what felt like hours before I heard the rushed footsteps of other people. My blood shot and puffy eyes met the many pairs of shocked eyes. Tae was the first to fall. Followed closely by Jungkook, J-Hope, and Jin. Suga and Namjoon stood yet but I could tell they were broken. I brought my face back to the one I cradled in my arms, his soul long gone.
"JIMIN!" High pitched screeches left my body as I sobbed into his cold, unwelcoming shoulder.
"You fucking idiot! I didn't get to tell you how much I loved you. Your encouraging smile and bright eyes. Your welcoming arms. I loved the warm hugs you gave me. I'm never gonna be able to feel them again. The little kisses to my forehead that you always gave me even though we weren't together. Your flirtatious ways. The stupid jokes you told that always made me laugh anyway. IT'S ALL GONE!" I sobbed and hugged him closer. Who ever wasn't crying before I said those words was crying now. They knew how much I loved him.
"You broke my heart and I can't forgive you for that. But in some twisted way I will always love you and hold you dear to my heart. I will treasure the times we spent together. The memories we made with each other. Forever. That's my promise." I stayed quiet and held his lifeless body close for just a bit more before speaking again.
"I know you wouldn't want me to be sad and mopey forever. I'll take my time and grieve. It will be extremely hard to move on but I'll try. Just for your sake. I love you from the bottom of my heart Park Jimin. Farewell my beloved." I said my final goodbye and gave him a kiss on the forehead. Closing my eyes I let go of everything.
