Like a Moth to a Flame

Andrew 8

I'm glad I was able to reach her before she left. The look in her eyes when she turned around had a hint of relief to them. "I'm sorry Lisa, I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to hand you acouple of forms to take with you to read over. Maybe they'll help jolt your memory?" She's not looking at the forms I'm holding out to her. She's staring at me and not saying any word. I can'teven read her right now. She looks like she's about to crumble atany moment. I wish I could just wrap my arms around her tiny, fragile shoulders and help her keep it together. Something within me pulls at me and I offer to walk her out and wait for her ride to arrive. She whispers a "thank you" as she steps into the elevator with me trailing right behind her, watching her every move.

She leans against the wood paneling on one side and looks down at the floor, at her blood stained shoes. I try to distract her thoughts for just a brief moment with a random question about sports. "So do you think Golden State's going to take the championship?" I'm suddenly nervous and regret sounding so corny. She must've picked up on my higher pitched tone to my voice because she looks up and I swear there's a crack of a smile appearing on her lips. She eyes me and for a brief second, I can see the flicker of life return to those eyes of hers as she relaxes her shoulders a bit. "Is a basketball square?" She asks and the tension in the air seems to lessen just a bit as I catch myself smiling right back at her. The elevator ping startles us both as the doors part open and that hint of life disappears once again from her face. She looks so solemn as she steps out, walking towards the front double glass doors as I jog up ahead to open it for her.

It's about 7 am now and the air is crisp and cool, the sky a dark shade of blue and the morning bustle has just begun. She sits on a nearby bench and reaches into her purse, searching for her phone. I walk over and sit near her and just people watch as she sends out a couple of texts and drops the phone back into her purse. "You have someone picking you up?" I almost want to offer her a ride home just to have a couple of more minutes with her because just being around her makes me feel...alive. "Yea, thanks for walking me out here. You don't have to stay. My brother's on his way to get me." I try to find an excuse just to sit by her for a few more minutes before she's off and who knows when I'll see her again. "I've been stuck inside that building since well...I can't remember when. Maybe 2 days ago? I need fresh air." I can catch her smiling as she looks straight ahead, across the street at an elderly woman waiting at the bus stop, clutching her brightly colored tote bag with a big pink flamingo sequenced across the front of it.

I want to tell her its going to be ok, I want to reassure her without sounding like a creep, but I can't because I don't even know what's going to happen. I know I have my work cut out for me but I need to get some rest myself because when I come back in to work later this evening, I'm going to make a stop by James' apartment and take a look around at the world that this sick sh_t lived in.

Another couple of minutes pass by as we both lean back onto the cold, metal backing of the bench and just take in the moment. There aren't anycars passing by to drown out the silence. There aren't any birds chirping. All I can hear is the heartbeat in my ears.