Like a Moth to a Flame

Andrew 4

I was intently listening to the details of James' dealings with her and found myself staring at her. She didn't seem to have noticed but I found myself doing it more so than not, so I focused on taking notes even though the recorder between us is catching every word, every breath she shares. Some of what she's saying makes me wonder why she would even find herself involved with someone like him. He sounded like such a user, leeching off of women to validate his existence. I'm sorry but this sounds like the guys women have stereotyped us all as. Dicks.

She seems empathetic and caring and maybe that's what he used as his MO. Her genuine concern for his regard, he used to his advantage. But why did she continue on? She seems like an intelligent woman, so why him? What was it about him that kept her there?

I find myself writing the word user and circling it again and again. User. Emotional vampire. Narcissist. I stop on this word because I once came across someone that fit the description of this person to a T. She was like a tornado. You see it in all its majesty and you know you should run and protect yourself but you can't move. You just stand there and watch it weave its trail of destruction, unfortunately making its way towards you, but now, its too late and you're caught up in the darkness and debris, getting tossed and turned, not knowing which way is up. And then you hit the ground hard as the dark, threatening clouds part, the sun shining through after the storm has passed. And if you're lucky, the wounds won't be that bad. They'll leave their mark, but you will pick yourself up and move on. But sometimes, sometimes after that hard fall, you wake up with a fear and panic, and you feel, you know something's not right within you anymore. Its not a broken limb or deep cut. Its a broken soul.

I don't hear Lisa speaking anymore so I glance up from my notes which could tell stories of the nightmare I lived for a bit, and find her staring at me. She's got these eyes that you could get lost in, and even after all she's been through, you can still see a speck of light shining through. Her hair is dark and caressing the tan skin of her face. I want to get to know her. I need to get to know her but I just can't. God, if we had met under different circumstances, I'd never let her go. But isn't that the way things go? Life can be such an asshole.