Like a Moth to a Flame

Lisa 11

I'm sipping the hot chocolate with whip cream watching the patrons file in and order their cappachinos and lattes, as the coffeehouse rock style music plays in the background.The scent of coffee beans and macaroons fills the air in the trendy coffee house Reynolds suggested. I sit and fall into a trance at the collage of colorful tiles meticulously placed to form a giant coffee cup with steam sifting up into the air when he arrives.

 "Hi there Lisa, how are you?" Reynolds asks with a smile. "I'm ok. Is this ok? I mean, is it ok that we meet to speak here or should I have met you at the police department?" "No, this is fine. Don't worry at all. Has something happened or I mean, are you ok?" "I finally made it home and all I wanted to do was sleep, but each time I closed my eyes, all I could see was him. Those eyes. I can't shake them."I take a sip and stare into nothing as I continue. "We had a tumultuous relationship, to say the least. It seemed like we were on and off every week. Something would set either of us off and there we went, arguing and ending things. And he'd call. Every day he'd call and I'd ignore the calls. But he knew i'd eventually answer. He always counted on me picking up the phone after 3 days of ignoring his 3-6 calls per day."

"And then we'd pick things right backup because he knew exactly what to say to pull me back into his web.It never failed." My mind wanders to one of those many times. "God I've missed you Lisa. Thank you so much for answering. I miss speaking to you. Its like that cliched saying, you don't know what you got 'til its gone, well its true. I adore you sweetie." I can feel the tears coming and in a whispered voice, I finish with "I love you."

I lower my head as to hide any spectacle I may be creating as I close my eyes tightly, as if forming a barrier for the tears just wanting to spill out. "Lisa, hey, its ok. It's going to be ok." Reynolds says as I slowly open my eyes and see his hand on mine. My eyes move up slowly taking in his dark grey polo shirt, up to his brown beard that seems to appear as its protecting his full lips. I continue upwards past his nose and focus on his brown eyes that have something behind them, nothing like James'. They have a hint of hazel to them but they look full of concern right now. Concern for me.

He slowly lifts his hand off of mine."So at this point, when he told you he loved you, had he met you yet?" I fidget in my seat. "No, not yet. I mean, we spoke everyday for years and then the stories he would tell me about his history, soon became about me." "We had settled on a day many times before to meet but we'd argue or he'd back out. There was always some stupid reason we didn't meet sooner."

"Had he ever verbally threatened you Lisa?" Reynolds asks as he pulls out his recorder and places it on the table between us. "Had he verbally attacked you when you had one of your many fall outs?" He focuses on my eyes just in case I lied. "Yes, was very vindictive. He never physically threatened me but he'd lash out and would cut me with his words. He'd hit me when I'd try breaking things off with him or when I was feeling off about things, he'd twist things around and would hit me where it hurts."He doesn't take his eyes off me the entire time even when the waitress comes by and asks if he'd like anything.

He leans forward and takes a deep breath. "Lisa, why did you let this continue? Why did you put up with him and his nonsense?" The feelings of shame and disappointment course through me and I suddenly feel the urge to run and hide. "I..I don't know. I think I'd become co-dependent on him because I was lacking in some areas and well, he was there.Everyday."

He leans back as he runs a hand through his dark brown hair. "Ok. ok. Take me through the first time you met him." I take another sip of my drink and suddenly wish it were alcohol and not hot chocolate. "We had stopped talking and it was about the 3rd day and I figured he'd call but instead I was the one calling him this time. He tells me he's in town and asks if we could meet. A million reasons flash through my mind as to why this is a horrible idea but all it takes is that one stupid reason to say yes. I figured, let me just get this out of my system. Let me just go and meet this voice on the other end of the phone once and for all. So I did and I regret it with every fiber of my being."

He's staring at me now. I can't tell if he's angry, concerned or what but its making me feel uncomfortable.Thankfully his phone vibrates as he pulls it from his pocket. "I'm sorry, I've got to take this call," he says as he stands and walks out of the coffee shop and onto the sidewalk. I can see him speaking and pacing back and forth. He looks frustrated as he puts the phone back into his pocket and walks back in. "Hey I'm sorry, its work. I appreciate you speaking to me and please don't hesitate to call me again. Anytime." He half smiles and walks out the shop again as he climb into his car and drives off in a hurry.