Like a Moth to a Flame

Lisa 15

Its been a while since Andrew left and I can't seem to shake that hug he gave me, nor those words he said right as he was leaving. I could be reading too much into this. I tend to have really bad luck when it comes to men and reading anyone for that matter.

I check my phone as I plug it in to charge. Its 12:30 a.m. and since things happened, I haven't been able to get more than 2-3 hours of sleep per night. Tonight doesn't seem any different except for the fact that every time I replay that hug from Andrew, my heart beat picks up, my breathing begins to hitch and those damn butterflies return.

I smile as I turn on my side and close my eyes.

"Tell me Lisa. Tell me you want it. Tell me right now that you want this. Say it. Tell me now. Please baby, please answer me." "James, stop. What the hell is your deal? I told you I can't do this. I can't give you what you want." "Baby, I want this from you. I want this with you. Its you. Can't you see? Can't you see I obviously can't let you go?"

I can hear his voice become husky. "You want to see what you do to me baby? Say it. Now. You know you want this. You know you like this. I know you do. I can tell. Just say that you do. Please, baby. I need you to say you want this with me."

I sit up quickly in my bed and feel like I'm going to be sick. I run to the restroom and dry heave over the toilet but it seems each time I close my eyes, I see his face and now, I'm hearing his voice more and more. I splash water on myself, staring back at the clammy faced woman in the mirror. "You're going to be ok. Its just a dream. Just a dream. Deep breath."

My breathing and heart rate finally calm to a normal beat and I head back to bed and pick up a book to distract my thoughts for a bit.

Why can't I meet someone like the men in Colleen Hoover's stories? I mean c'mon. Its like there's this evil trick being played on me and God is sending the sociopaths and narcissists my way.

My phone buzzes, distracting me from my reading. Its probably an email but I lean over to check my phone. Its Andrew. My heart starts thudding in my chest as I open his text. "Hi, I hope its not too late but I couldn't wait to let you know. We have a prime suspect in the case. If you're up text me back. If not, I hope this makes your morning."

I drop my book onto my lap, lean my head against the backboard and the tears just come out of no where. They found out who killed him. So many thoughts and emotions swirl my head at this moment and my hands are shaking as I type out my message. "That's great news! Oh my God. Thank you for letting me know. So now what happens?"

I wipe at my tears and begin to send my brother John a text, not caring what time of the morning it is, because I need to tell someone the good news. Another text comes through. Its Andrew. "Well, right now we've got him in custody. Actually he's being interrogated by my partner right now. I'll let you know as soon as I have more info. Get some rest."

"I will. Thanks again."

I head to the kitchen to get take some Nyquil and attempt to get some rest because something tells me tomorrow is going to be a busy day.