Like a Moth to a Flame

Lisa 13

I'm laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, counting the glow in the dark stars I placed because when I first moved in, I was afraid of the dark. I had this notion that monsters thrived in the darkness and waited until nighttime to attack and eat me. But as I grew up, I learned monsters come out during the daylight as well and aren't the dark slimy things with red eyes.Sometimes these monsters can look just like you and me.

I turn onto my side and hug my pillow as I close my eyes and try to get some rest but as soon as I close them, I see James's blood stained face and immediately I sit up in bed. I need to distract myself with something so I decide to clean out my closet. When I've finished that, I continue into my kitchen and wash and dry my dishes, mop the floor and head into the living room to dust the furniture. I plop myself onto my couch because I'm finally tired again. I lay down and my eyelids feel so heavy but just as they're about to close, my phone goes off. Its a text from Reynolds. "Hey Lisa, sorry to bother you. Are you able to talk?"My pulse is racing as I nervously respond. "yea, sure. I'm home right now, you're welcome to come over." I stare at my phone for what feels like an eternity until he responds. "I'll be there in 30 min."

I'm so relieved I just finished cleaning and head over to take a quick shower and clean myself up. I give myself a quick look over at my hair pulled up in a pony tail, my fitted white t-shirt and jeans I found to fit in again and my converse shoes. I head over to my living room just as there's a knock on my door. It's him. "Hey Lisa, good to see you again. Hey, did you change?" He's got this confused look to him briefly as a smile forms and I invite him in. "Yea, I went crazy cleaning a bit ago and got my cardio in for the day." He smiles again and sits down on the couch. "Would you like anything to drink?" "I'll take a water if that's ok."I return with his glass as he sips it quickly and places it on the coffee table.

"How are you doing?" He asks with such concern in his eyes again. "I'm ok. I mean, I'm ok." "I was just at James' place canvasing the area again," he says as he studies my reaction. I have none as I look back at him, my eyes drawn to his beard and lips. I suddenly wish I could feel it against my skin. I wonder how his lips would feel against mine. I can feel myself blushing as I look down at my phone. "is there anything you could remember from that night?" He continues as he rests his forearms on his thighs. He hasn't taken his eyes off of me.

"All I can remember is seeing him on the couch and blood. So much blood." I shake my head as I utter those words because really, that's all I remember. Its that mental brick wall that's preventing me from seeing anything else," I say as I look him straight in the eyes. "Can you take me through the time you first met him?" I really don't want to relive that but I'll do it if it'll help clear my name. "He texted me that Tuesday morning randomly that he was in town. We met up at lunch time in the crowded parking lot of a local restaurant. I remember the moment I saw him for the first time. He was tall, over 6 feet tall. Dark brown hair, slender and fit. He was wearing a charcoal gray dry fit shirt,dark wash blue jeans and converse tennis shoes. His eyes looked swollen as if either he had just woken up or he had allergies.

We sat in my car as I nervously fidgeted and looked around me, not wanting to make eye contact with him because I could feel his eyes on me. I remember him wanting a hug so I lean in and he tries to kiss me but I turn my head. "Ok, ok,"he tells me and we continue talking. I remember him being loud and his dark eyes darting everywhere if they weren't focused on me. I was wearing a dress that day with a cutout exposing my back and I remember how wide his eyes got when he ran his hand across my skin.He asked with a sly smile if I was wearing panties. I said yes and he again leans in for another hug but this time, his hands slowly move up my dress, up my right thigh. I push his hand away and he tries again as he whispers in my ear, "move the car over there behind the restaurant." I do as he tells me and as soon as I put the car into park, I turn and look at him and the look he's giving me Reynolds,its embossed in my memory. He was breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling quickly and his eyes are large and dark and he's looking at me like he wants to attack me. I remember his eyes looking so dark and empty. I should've run, but I was so void and codependent on him that I stayed and let things unfold. We kissed and it was messy and hurried. Not the passionate type of a kiss that I had imagined. I remember feeling his hands on me again, and I was pushing them away telling him no, we can't. People could see.

And then the next thing you know, he's unzipping his pants and that dark look to him is still there as he asks me to give him a bj. "Please baby please.." he says as he grabs my hand and places it on him. Less than 3 min. pass and its over. He's gotten what he wanted and hes cleaning himself up and walking towards his car.

I remember just wanting to bathe and get his scent off my face. I felt so numb, so out of sorts the remainder of the day.

Reynolds is shaking his head staring into nothing at all. "Lisa, why did you put yourself through that?He could've raped you. I mean, hell, if you were alone with him in a motel room, I'm pretty damn sure he would've had his way with you. He would've conquered you and you would've been just another number on his list and he was just going to discard you like rest of them."He's right. He's so right. "Hey, but I'm so glad you didn't allow that to happen. He didn't deserve you and he knew it. He projected what he felt for himself onto you. He was an empty soul Lisa. And I'm sorry you crossed paths with him but you're going to be ok. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

Reynolds walks over to me because his words have brought out the tears again. I'm so tired of crying at this point but it feels so good to have someone care about me. He crouches down in front of me and wraps his strong arms around me,holding me in silence until the tears stop. I hold onto him as well,feeling his toned body through his shirt, feeling his beard against my ear and it doesn't feel creepy as with James. It feels good. It feels normal.

We both let go as I sniffle back the last of the tears. He stands back, taking a good look at my face to make sure I'm ok. "You can call me whenever Lisa. I'll be here as soon as I can. Please don't forget that." "I better get going'cause its late and I've got to run to the office to type up some paperwork. Thank you for sharing with me. We're going to get to the bottom of this. I promise you that."

I nod and crack a thin smile as I walk him to the door. He turns and looks at me one more time. "I know I shouldn't say this because its completely out of line, but I'm glad he can't hurt anyone, more so, you anymore."

And with that, he turns and leaves. My breath is caught in my throat and I'm trying to process what he's just said. What's just happened but I can't. I close my door, lock it and lean back against it. What just happened?