The Help Book

A~10 : Ways to Come Out?

I recently discovered that I'm pansexual (which is having an attraction to all genders) and genderfluid (I was born female but I feel like I'm a guy at times and at other times I feel like I'm a girl, mostly guy but pronouns don't really bother me that much but I would like to be referred to as he/him or they/them but I really don't care if I'm called she/her) and I feel like my parents should know but I can't do it, I nearly did once, but backed out last minute, now only two of my friends know I'm pansexual but no one knows I'm genderfluid, and to be honest I feel like I should wait about my gender identity because I might do something to my body and eventually want to change back, so I want to wait to make sure, but on my sexuality I feel like my parents should know, so if you have any tips on coming out I would really appreciate it, anyways thanks!

Hello!

First of all you should know that there's nothing "wrong" with you, and don't ever let anyone tell you that.

It's a fact that your sexuality and gender identity have been decided at birth. That however, doesn't mean that if you are physically female you are necessarily female. You could be born one gender and transition to the other, or you could be genderfluid, or agender. That is what is decided at birth.

So if you do feel like you have a particular gender identity or sexuality, you are most probably right. No one knows you and your body like you do.

But you should still be careful. It's probably better to wait for a while and feel completely sure before you tell your parents, otherwise they might say things like "you're getting influenced by the internet" or "you're too young and innocent to know anything" or "it's just a phase and you'll grow over it". Ugh.

In general I would suggest only telling your parents if you find someone you love and want to date, but isn't a "guy" like your parents probably want your date to be.

Since you do already have a girlfriend, maybe it is the right time to tell them!

You can start by dropping subtle hints to see how they react.

But if you just want to do it right away, here are a few hilarious/creative ideas I found online:

1) Blandly state that you're pansexual. Throw cooking pans at the homophobes.

2) While you're leaving for school, yell "IM PANSEXUAL" and run out as fast as you can.

3) Randomly comment on how hot some celebrities are while your parents are in the room.

4) Point to a doughnut and say that it describes your sexuality perfectly (don't ask me for an explanation, I don't understand if either).

5) Say - "Let's get one thing straight, I'm not."

Just Google "ways to come out" and you'll find loads :D
These are just a few that I liked.

Another easy way is to text them, or to tell them over phone. It's probably less nerve-racking.

But personally I'd think that the best way to come out is when you're completely sure, and you just walk up to your parents, tell them there's something important you want to tell them, and just say it.

Anyways, hope it goes well! Remember, they may not accept you immediately, but it is important that they know and regardless of anything they do and always will love you :)

Good luck!!

Lots of love
A_B

P.S. : If anyone here has come out or you know someone who has, just tag them below so that the person this chapter is for can pm you or that person for more tips! Anyways, if you just need to talk, pm me anytime :)