Chim- In aeternum

Chapter 6

She registers Nicola and Sarah making their way to her. The hospital lights are so bright that their faces are partly obscured by a kaleidoscope of boxes dancing over her eyes, like someone had taken a rapid array of photos of her with the flash still on. One of them's squeezing her arm and she's not sure who, but it's hardly any concern to her as she makes eye contact with Cheryl. Those bright dancing boxes fade away at the sight of her friend, who's standing up from Joan and walking towards her, eyes reddened and make-up smudged, about to lose it again.

Kimberley grabs onto her and takes the weight of the fall.

-----

She overhears news from Tom that the vet had been forced to put Chestnut down. Leigh had tried a jump in the north paddock and had fallen forward as Chestnut's front legs had caught on the top railing, the horse momentarily landing on the little girl. Chestnut hardly even registers in her mind, the hours flying by as they all sit in the hospital waiting room, wishing and dreading for news on Leigh's condition.

Her voice is hardly there when she eventually speaks, the subject unable to escape her thoughts. “Tell me about when she tried to...”

Sarah tenses against her, shoulder squaring against Kimberley's cheek where she'd rested her head, ash blonde a stark contrast to her own black tresses. She's going to dye it back to her natural colour as soon as she gets out of here, as soon as Leigh's awake and well again, instead of lying in an induced coma with a broken pelvis and a punctured lung and God knows what else.

“Kim--”

“Please.”

She hears a sigh and then a sharp intake of breath.

“We all tried calling her after the split, Nic especially, but she never got back to us...Ash was--he was doing his best, but...he asked us not to call, because she was getting upset each time. Nic visited a few times, tried to get her out of the house, but she was...she wouldn't. We decided to give her some space because she was pregnant, and we didn't want to...”

Sarah's quiet for a moment, Kimberley recalling a smiling Leigh from two weeks ago, eyes welling with tears.

“She missed Nadine's birthday, but I was sure she'd be there for Nic's...then I prayed she'd be back for our--my--birthday, but...things were a lot worse than I'd thought.”

Kimberley can't seem to say anything, tongue caught, throat tight, tears spilling down over the bridge of her nose.

“Leigh was in the premmy ward by the time Tommy and I got there. She was so tiny, and Cheryl was...so thin and pale, like a ghost. Ash and Joan were a right mess. Nic pretty much went to pieces as soon as she saw her...lost about a stone that week from worry and not eating properly. The pap's turned up, hassled Nadine when she flew in...it was a bloody nightmare. Be thankful that you missed it.”

Kimberley nods against her shoulder, taking in the stilted remark.

“I'm sorry.” She means it with the whole of her heart.

“Don't apologise to me...apologise to Cheryl.”

-----

She sees Ashley before he sees her, hair grown out, a little bit more solid than he was in his glory days. She's going to cop a mouthful from him and she's prepared to take it, ready for every harsh truth he's going to tell her, knowing Joan has held her tongue since Kimberley had arrived. If it was going to be anyone, it might as well be the man who'd had his wife's spirit stolen away by her.

He sees her and simply gives her a long look as he's rushing past.

Kimberley hadn't really believed he'd changed, but she knows it now.

-----

“She's asking for you.”

Kimberley looks up at the old nurse who's shaken her awake, sitting up suddenly despite the kink in her neck, noting the dark corridor and the absence of everyone else. She doesn't understand.

“I thought the coma--”

“The mother is asking for you.”

She feels her face fall. “Oh.”

“I'm so sorry dear. I didn't phrase that at all well, did I?”

Kimberley stands up and kindly waves her off, the vinyl floor cold underneath her bare feet. Her heels are somewhere within kicking distance, under the row of seats she's been waiting on for the last 48 hours. Sarah had gone home to Emmy and Tom, dragging an exhausted Nadine with her, while Nic and Rick had headed off to his cousin's place in Sunderland. Ashley and Joan had been in and out of the hospital, the two of them making small talk with her, making an effort.

The room's filled with flowers, teddy bears, cards and balloons. There's a hand drawn picture of two stick figures holding hands pinned to the far wall, a bright yellow sun beaming down on them. Kimberley realises she hasn't been outside since she arrived, no idea of what the weather's like or if that rain they'd predicted had arrived.

“Sit. You're making me nervous.”

Cheryl's looking over at her from the seat on the other side of the bed, wrapped up in a blanket with one hand protruding to hold her daughter's. She's been in here already, held the little girls hand herself, seen the bruises and the bandages, the intubation tube, but the sight still knocks the breath out of her. Eight months of getting to know the little girl will never make up for her absence in the first nine years of  her life, but being here now is what she can offer her and Cheryl, the only thing she can give.

She sits down in the seat opposite Cheryl and takes Leigh's other hand in her own.