Chim- In aeternum

Chapter 11

The day blends into early evening, balloons, streamers, and a 'welcome home Leigh' banner hanging in the lounge. The chocolate mud cake she's made from scratch is sitting in front of her, ready to be iced and decorated, when the front door shuts and a car drives off. Cheryl appears a moment later, glancing around in search for her.

“Do ya think I could fit 'Welcome home babe, love you heaps, enjoy school next week' on the cake?”

Cheryl shakes her head a little, mind clearly somewhere else.

“Chez?”

“Can I show you something?”

Kimberley peers at her, worry expanding in her gut. “Course you can...everything okay?”

“Yeah...I just need you to see something before...” Cheryl trails off, eyes dropping down from Kimberley's gaze.

The older woman steps around the kitchen counter and walks to Cheryl, offering her hand. The Geordie takes it carefully.

Kimberley does not let go of the younger woman's hand as they head through the house towards Cheryl's studio, the door closed as it had been for the past few days. Kimberley had been respecting Cheryl's privacy, had known she'd spent a good deal of time there recently, unsure of whether she was painting or simply doing paperwork. Cheryl's charity work had taken a backseat, the Geordie letting her deputy take over the majority of responsibilities while Leigh got better. Kimberley knew from the early days of playing manager for the group that there were still things to check, sign for, double check and book, and  she'd left Cheryl to the work while she went out shopping and cleaned the house.

The door creaks loudly, startling Kimberley back to reality, her attention drawing to the warmth of Cheryl's hand in her own. She's anticipating what Cheryl wants to show her, but it's really not much of a concern to her. Her friend's presence is enough right now, even though she's worried about Cheryl being scared about whatever's in this room.

It's not this room that's the concern, as she finds out. There's a door on the other side of Cheryl's studio, a locked room that Cheryl had offhandedly mentioned 'held all the stuff from the past'. She's suddenly very curious to know what she's about to be shown, her friend letting go of her hand to reach up above the door frame, up on the tips of her toes to retrieve what turns out to be the key. Cheryl looks at her carefully, regarding Kimberley like she's really unsure about doing this.

“Chez...whatever it is, you don't--”

“I do.”

“Are you worried about my reaction?”

Cheryl nods. Kimberley smiles gently.

“They banned me, remember? I can't go back, which is bloody annoying, cos I wouldn't mind nicking back to get some vegemite for my toast.”

The Geordie's struck down by Kimberley's statement, the older woman catching her sad expression and realising how it's been interpreted.

“Not that I would do it, even if I was allowed to...there are more important things to me than vegemite. Plenty more things. Things that are well within the borders of the United Kingdom...except Nadine. She's the exception I guess. Vegemite's got--”

“Babe?”

The pet name throws her off course, Kimberley's gaze widening as she looks into the Geordie's brightened eyes. “Yes?”

“Enough about vegemite, hey?”

Kimberley chuckles softly at herself, Cheryl joining in for a moment as she unlocks the door in front of them.

The laughter stops the second Kimberley follows Cheryl into the room, the older woman's mind going into overdrive with what her eyes are seeing. Covering the three walls in front of her are numerous paintings and sketches, so much black and red and grey that for a second all the artwork joins together, a snapshot of Cheryl's breakdown right in front of Kimberley. Then the overall picture starts to split, she starts seeing the rotted trees and the screaming, bleeding faces, the lack of emotion in numerous sets of eyes, the overwhelming pain in the remainder of them. Some of the faces are unmistakably hers, distorted in smudges and hard lines, some of them bearing an uncanny resemblance to Cheryl's features. Kimberley unknowingly takes a step back, suddenly light headed, knowing she's had enough of seeing this mess, this tragedy that Cheryl had experienced, that she had let out in horrendous fashion.

She's had enough of this blackness, Kimberley feeling relief in the split second it takes for her to faint, falling into a safer blackness, one that will not hurt.

-----

The light filters in, slowly illuminating everything beyond the darkness. Somewhere someone's saying something, the words no match for the loud ringing in Kimberley's ears and the stabbing pain at the back of her head. A blurry figure appears, features unknown, Kimberley trying to clear her vision by blinking, an unbearable shooting ache racing to her eyes instead. The light seems all too bright with the pain, and she thinks she might be trying to speak with the absent feeling of her mouth, but she's not completely sure. She tries to focus on the figure still looming above her, tries to concentrate on their face, thinking it could be Cheryl, might be the Geordie speaking against the ringing sound.

She doesn't know, and she desperately wants to find out. The light's leaving her though, slowly dimming, the pain fading away as the blackness returns.

-----

A soft touch, the lightest of feeling along her forehead, down her cheek, over the bridge of her nose, across her other cheek, down the length of her jaw and back up again, further up to her forehead, down her cheek, over the bridge of her nose, across her other cheek, down the length of her jaw and back up again, the ever present pain at the back of her head continuing with the lightest of feeling along her forehead, down her cheek, over the bridge of her nose, across her other cheek, down the length of her jaw and back up again, further up to her forehead, down her cheek, over the bridge of her nose, across her other cheek, down the length of her jaw and back up again...

Her eyes shoot open, dim light greeting her, a blur of a hand moving back.

“Didn't mean to scare you.”

Leigh's whisper, so distinct, rumbles through Kimberley's mind, wrapping itself around nine months of memories, blue sky and endless green fields meeting where a little girl and her horse stood.

“Mum's supposed to get the doctor when you wake up, but she's asleep, so I better...”

Leigh doesn't make any sort of movement from where she's sitting on the bed, seems to look down at Kimberley's side, her own eyes following the girl's. A brunette head of hair and a lazy fringe is the most she can see, but she knows it's Cheryl lying beside her, a familiar weight against her shoulder,  arm resting over her stomach, recollections of similar moments flooding her cloudy mind.

“Do you love me Mum?”

Kimberley looks up at Leigh, her head throbbing and her eyes refusing to focus. She nods, regretting the movement immediately.

“But...is it like the way you love Aunty Sarah and Aunty Nicola and Aunty Nadine...or the way me Dad loved Mum?”

There's a sudden movement against Kimberley's shoulder, the weight lifting, Cheryl's hazy face suddenly in sight.

“Oh, Kim. You scared the life out of me.”

She feels herself settle, searching for the Geordie's brown eyes, concentrating so hard that it takes her a moment to realise Leigh's small hand is in her own, soft and warm. She looks at the little girl, an answer making it's way to her lips, but Leigh's already leaning forward to plant a kiss on her cheek, offering Kimberley a reprieve with a cheeky smile.

She takes it gratefully, the world blurring a little more with her tears.