Indecisive (A Harry Styles Fanfic)

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+Melanie's POV+

After the boys left the station I gathered all of my things, taking the back exit to not be seen by any fans or anyone else for that matter. The only people I talked to were Harry and Nick, even when I passed Jonny the security guard I just nodded.

After the long ride home because of traffic, I made it to my flat and fell on the couch.

I let out a scream and suddenly felt so much better.

"Mel why are you screaming?" A voice, similar to Alison's, said as the door opened to my flat.

I jumped off the couch, "ALISON!" I yell bringing her in a big hug. "I have so much to tell you."

+Harry's POV+

I can't believe she fucking said no. So what if a girl called her on the phone and told her she was ugly. I have had so much worse, from hate from whom I'm dating, to what shirts I wear, to even my singing. And she just gets called ugly. Girls are so weird.

"Hey Harry why don't we watch a movie." Louis suggested to everyone, but just acknowledging me. He probably knows I'm pissed off. He was the only one that I told about my rejection.

How could I have told the rest of the boys, they would've laughed at me thinking she was just a random girl, but to me she's not. She's, I don't know, special. Yeah you could say that, special.

"Um, yeah ok." I said walking to the couch and sitting down. I was tempted to take my phone out and text Melanie, but I feel like that would be too much. She probably just got home and she's with her friend.

"Who's picking this time?" Liam asked as he sat down on the opposite side of the couch.

"I don't know, just pick anything. I'm gonna make popcorn." Louis said and turned to the kitchen banging pots and bowls together.

Zayn took the remote and turned the TV on. "Is there any movie you guys wanna see?"

"I don't really care," I said taking my phone out and opening twitter.

"Niall? What about you do you have any suggestions?" Zayn asked him.

"Nope. I haven't seen any recent trailers."

"Liam?" Zayn asked next.

"Actually I'm gonna go call my mum. I told her I would earlier." He said walking out of the room.

"Ookaayy. LOUIS PICK A MOVIE." Zayn yelled over the microwave beeping.

"I don't know, just put something on." Louis replied and after more pots and pans made a noise.

Without saying anything I stood up and walked out of the room annoyed.

"Harry where are you going?" Niall asked with confusion.

"I'm going to my room, what does it look like I'm doing." I snapped at him.

Once I reached my room I slammed the door closed. Those stupid idiots couldn't even pick a god damn movie.

I walked into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. I looked terrible, bags under my eyes and my clothes all messed up. I thought about what Louis said earlier. If Melanie found out about my anger issues, then she probably will think I'm a weirdo and never see me again.

I walked out of the bathroom pulling at my hair in frustration. I groaned as I went over to the desk sitting next to my bed. I took out a pen and found my journal that was hidden in one of the drawers in the way back. I flipped to the first page and began to reread the inked page.

Date: November 12th 2012

Today I got back from the therapist; she said I had to write something down everyday. Like that's gonna help with my issues. I hate that. My issues. It makes me seem crazy when I hear it being told to me. Whatever, Miss R said that I had to write in here and she was going to read it at my next appointment. What the fuck, to think that she actually thinks I'll write about my "feelings" in this shitty thing. Um no thank you.

Date; November 19th 2012

Ok maybe she was being serious about me writing in this thing. I handed in my note book today at the session this afternoon and she took a look at what I read, frowned then handed it back to me. I hate when people frown. Why do people ever need to be sad? Why can't everyone just be happy with everything? Why can't we get what we want? The world would be a lot better this way.

Date: November 26th 2012

Miss R said that my last entry was better. But that I should talk about what I did during the day? What does that even mean. Whatever, she gave me a question to write about. 'What is the one thing I want most in life?'

My guess is that the boys have a happy life. Everyone knows I'm the fuck up. The youngest, the one with less knowledge about everything. Louis was the one who told me to go to a therapist. The boys have no idea where I go every Monday between 2 and 4. I think Louis is taking it worse than me. He's my best friend, and he thinks that he's the reason for this, that he didn't teach me enough in life, so instead I googled it.

"The Top Reasons People Have Anger Management Issues"

1) Witnessing poor anger management

2) Experiencing abuse

3) Mismanaged stress

4)Being taught that expressing feelings is unacceptable

5) Low self-esteem

6) Low frustration tolerance

7) Hiding other emotions

8) Lack of sleep

9) Medicines

I feel like most of those things could've cause

Date: December 3rd 2012

Sorry I didn't finish last week's entry, I had tons of press and shit for the album. What the fuck am I doing? Talking to my journal like it has feelings. Maybe I don't have anger issues; maybe I'm going crazy instead. Miss R said my writing has been getting better and better each day. But I feel like I don't have an anger problem. I feel terrible some days, and then really excited. Maybe it's symptoms of my anger. Who knows?

Date January 17th 2013

I stopped going to Miss R a couple weeks ago because apparently I "wrecked" her office. Bullshit. She was trying to get an emotion out of me. Well she got an emotion out of me all right. She was talking to me and she told me I was worthless and that I shouldn't even have the career I have. Well then I took the chair I was sitting in and threw it at the wall. Next thing I know I'm sitting in the car ride back home crying.

I hadn't written anything since then. I took a deep breath and brought the pen to the paper.

Date: March 13th 2013

A/N: This chapter was really hard to write, but fun to get a different side of Harry idk. Please, please, please vote and comment if you liked it. Enjoy X