Last First Kiss (A Niall Horan Fan Fiction) (*ON HOLD*)

Chapter Eighteen: My Life Would Suck Without You

Niall's P.O.V

I set my rucksack down on the floor near my bedroom door and went into the study to work on some new songs. I didn’t really think that then was the time to try and produce some new lyrics but you never knows until you try. Sometimes when you have many emotions running through your body then you can pour them all lout into the pen or keyboard and they will flow on the paper with the ink. It sounds sad, I know, but if you think about it properly before judging straight away then you will soon come to realise that it does make some sense.

Now, what to write? I thought to myself. All I could think about was the reaction Amy was going to have when I explained the full extent of things to her. I wrote many crap filled pages, rung Harry and Louis up and read them out to them only for them to be laughed at so much I swear they were pissing themselves. At each thing they laughed their heads off at I scrunched the pieces of paper up and lobbed them in the mostly empty bin, muttering Bingo to myself at each time I got one in on a first try. God, these lyrics were absolutely crappy. No wonder I was a laughing stock with the boys at the moment! Okay, so it doesn’t always work with the emotions thing Maybe my brain was just too clouded over with thoughts at the time. Loam was the one who totally understood me the most seeing as he was 'Daddy Directioner' so I decided to ring him up and ask him for advice.

He answered on the third ring.

"Hiya. You okay now?" He greeted me.

"Um, suppose yeah. I need your help."

"Sure! What's up?" He asked me, ready to help as always.

"Err..... I don’t really know how to explain all this to Amy..." I started picking at a hangnail on my thumb as I set the phone down on the table and set it on loudspeaker.

Liam sighed. "I think you should just go for it and tell her, mate. It's all you can do really and just pray that it goes okay. I mean, you can always still see her you know, just not as regularly and there would be a lot of travelling involved." He explained it even though I already knew.

I put my head in my hands and groaned. "If she breaks up with me then..... I don’t know whether I can handle it." I rubbed my eye.

"I know, I know. You really want to' know my opinion, Niall?"

"Go for it." I sighed.

"Okay here's my opinion. I honestly don’t think she will break up with you over this. She loves you too much, I've seen the way she looks at you and so have all the other boys. Amy will not let something like this get in the way of your relationship and she will truly try her level best to be at your side as much as she can when the Take Me Home Tour kicks off. I know for a fact that she completely understands that this is your job and it has to be done otherwise she wouldn’t of got together with you. She was more than aware when. she first met you and that means she was prepared for this and what is coming. She really does love you Niall and she won’t want to let you go that easily. I mean, anyway, even if she does try to walk away, knowing you, you won’t let her get away that easily! You'd probably sleep on her door step or something! Really, Niall, just tell her and you'll see that Daddy Directioner is probably right yet again. You just wait for the outcome. I predict that there is a very low chance that she will walk out of the door and leave you and if she does, which is very unlikely by the way, then I want you to know that Harry, Zayn, Louis and I will be here for you all the way." He took a deep breath. That probably took a lot of talking.

Wow. Just. Wow. Now that is why he is called Daddy Directioner. He's always there to talk (usually). He always knew the right things to say to comfort us. Always. Those words really were comforting. I forgot for a couple of moments that Liam was on the other end of the phone, waiting for a reply. His words were rolling around in my mind, echoing.

"Errm, Niall? You still there, mate?" Loam coughed.

"Oh yeah! Sorry!" I told him.

"For once, I don’t think it was food that you went off into a daydream about..." He laughed.

"You guessed right." I didn’t laugh even though this should have amused me.

"Yeah, okay. Do you still want to talk or was that enough?" He asked.

"No. It’s fine. Thanks so much. I'm going to ring Amy up and ask her to come by for the night." I told him.

"No problem and don’t get too naught tonight!" He yelled.

"Yeah, I don’t think we'll do anything seeing as she’s going to' leave me." I said sadly.

"Oh for the love of-"

I knew he was going to start up explaining again that she wasn’t going to leave me so I cut him off quickly. "Bye! Thanks and see you soon!"

I hung up the call and speed dialled Amy. It took a while for her to answer. Uh oh. She was probably busy so this conversation wasn’t going to start on a bright note.

"Hey." She said, breathlessly.

"Sorry, did I call at a wrong time?" I asked her.

"No. I heard my phone ringing and I couldn’t find it so I was running round the house looking for it like a maniac." She explained.

I chuckled. "I would have loved to see that. Can you come over? I need to talk."

"Is it about.... You know, what you said you'd tell me later this morning?" She queried.

My heart sank as she said that. "Uh. Yeah." I told her awkwardly.

"I'll be over in about ten minutes." She said.

"Okay. See you soon. Love you."

"Love you too." I could hear the slight smile on her face as she said that and I cherished the sound of her voice when she said that because it my well have been the last time I heard those three little words come out of her mouth to me. She hung up the phone and I went downstairs and sat in the hallway near the door waiting to hear her small, delicate footsteps approaching the door. After about five minutes I sunk onto the floor, my back sliding against the smooth red wall and buried my head in my hands, scrunching my fingers into my spiked up hair. 'Be prepared Niall.' I thought to myself. 'This is the night you will probably lose the love of your life.'

I heard her quiet, light footsteps and jumped up to yank the door open. I opened my arms for a hug and buried my face in her neck, like I did with everyone, rubbing circles into her back. She stroked my stomach and leant her forehead against mine, looking into my eyes lovingly. I observed it and captured the picture in my mind. Maybe the last time I saw her look at me like that. I took her hand in mine and led her upstairs to my room and we sat on my bed.

"So about the tour." I started.

"Tell me everything I need to know." She looked fearful.

"Right." I took a deep breath before beginning and she nodded, urging me on. ""On the 23rd of this month (February) we are starting our Take Me Home World Tour in the O2 Arena. We will be visiting Europe, North America and Australia. There will be fifty seven shows in Europe, forty one in North America and twenty four in Australia so that makes one hundred and twenty two in total. You're probably going to break up with me when I tell you this next bit." I gulped and looked up from the bed cover I was focusing on and looked at her tear stained face as I took both of her hands in mine and then continued. "You probably won’t be able to see me that much because we will have to fly out all the time but I am willing to try anything for you. If you want to break up with me now then I will understand." I told her. praying that she wouldn’t leave me there and then. I couldn’t judge what she was going to say by her face because it was completely blank.

I stroked her hand and she burst into tears and shoved her head into my chest. I patted her head and stoked her hair. Was this good or bad?

"Of course I'm not breaking up with you!" She managed through her sobs. "But how will we see each other?!" She wailed.

"I'll try and find a way. I promise you my darling." I stuttered, my fighting eyes growing tired and welling up. I rested my chin on her head as I swayed her from side to side in my now weakened arms. I sang to her quietly and kissed her forehead every now. and then.