Psychotic (BVS Lex Luthor x Reader)

prologue

Author's Note:

JUST added a playlist for this story!

http://8tracks.com/riofthesouthernisles/psychotic-lex-luthor-x-reader-2

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TODAY

You stare at your feet as you walk across the white floor. Dirt is smeared across the white squares; marks from the filthy shoes of the prisoners and the muddy boots of the officers. The waves of anxiety crash over your body. Your fingers curl into fists, your body chills to the bone. You lick at your lips rapidly. The beads of sweat start to slowly drip down your face. You dab at your forehead with your sleeve. He was always the one that cared and helped you with your anxiety. But he can't anymore, and it makes you feel trapped.

It's been a couple of weeks since you've seen him.

You're led to the plastic chair in front of the glass window. As you lower yourself into the chair, you know what's coming. You're afraid to look up, but you do. Staring into the cold eyes of your boyfriend, you reach out and grab the phone in front of you. He mimics your action.

Your lips open and you whisper, "I didn't want to come."

His face doesn't change as he answers you. "You're not the type to visit prisons. I don't blame you. I'm surprised you came at all."

You purse your lips together. Your eyes scan him. Even his voice is different - it's scratchy, uneasy. And he looks so unlike the man you had fallen for just a year ago, so changed. He's wearing an orange jumpsuit, his head is bald, covered in scars from the razor that was carelessly dragged down his head. You loved his hair a lot. He loved when you would run your fingers through it.

Your eyes fill to the brim with tears as you push away this painful memory. "Why did you do it?"

His lips quiver. He doesn't reply.

"Was I not enough for you?"

His eyes don't leave yours. A few seconds after your second question comes off your tongue, he smiles. A small smile, usually one that would bring you happiness, but now only chills you to the bone.

You blink and open your mouth. You're only choking on your words as you manage out, "Okay. I'm sorry, but I can't do this." You reach over to hang up the phone.

"Wait," his voice says. You freeze. He clutches his phone tightly, his hands shaking violently. "Wait, wait, wait." You swallow and lift the phone to your ear. His eyes scan yours, and he whispers, "I love you."

You bite your lip and look down at your hand. Your scratch at the table, and you're desperately trying to keep your emotions under control. "Yeah, I loved you, too."

"Loved, past tense," he mumbles, his eyes flicking everywhere around him. "A verb meaning that you once loved me, but here, in the present time, you do not." He leans back in his chair and folds his hands together on his stomach. "I think that I know the reason why-"

"I can't love a murderer," you answer in a small voice.

"Mhm, and I was correct!" He lifts his pointer finger and grins.

You let out a deep breath and mumble, "You know..."

He silences you with a, "Stop right there, beautiful. Let me tell you something that many, many people, even people as brilliant as you, cannot even begin to process in their tiny, ignorant brains." You blink and bite down on your lip as he continues. "Are you aware of the number of people that died because of Superman? The amount o-of children orphaned, wives widowed, men left without their fathers and brothers and friends?"

"He saved people. He saved me once! And you couldn't even bring yourself to thank him for that."

"No, no, I couldn't..." he mumbles, shaking his head.

"Superman was just as human as me and you," you continue. "He had a family, he had friends, he had a life-"

"And-!" he interrupts with sudden excitement, "And he had a godlike power that no one should be able to possess."

"He used it for the greater good!"

"Is the greater good power?" he asks breathlessly. "The greater good, meaning that the officers and people who are supposed to keep us safe aren't good enough, so we need this - this false god - to protect us? And in turn, we receive far more problems and monsters than before?" He smirks and shakes his head. "My love, is the greater good power? Is it?"

You stiffen and look away. "What happened to you?"

"What happened to you? Once upon a time, you hated him as much as I did. Didn't you? Don't bother answering, ___. I already know the answer." He grins and leans forward, making your eyes flick back up to his. He's filled with anger, but it's masked with his humor. "You knew how I felt about him and the power that he held." His teeth are clenched, his eyes burning.

You shake your head. "You. You killed him."

He leans back and shakes his head. He starts to rock back and forth a little, his eyes fixated on one area. "Yes, yes, yes. I did. I killed him," he mumbles to himself, his fingers drumming against the table. "I killed him. You're right, you've always been right."

You clench your hands into fists. "I don't know you anymore."

As soon as the words leave your mouth, you realize how absurdly cliché it sounds. But it's true, you don't know who he is anymore. He's changed so much.

He nods and opens his mouth, only to shut it automatically. His eyes scan the ceiling above him, almost as if he's searching for something that will teach him how to speak. His lips open again. "You know that I did it for you?" He looks back and nods as the question sits in the air. He moves in the seat and smiles. "I did it for you. For us."

You shake your head. "Do not put this on me."

"Oh, I'm not, love. I'm not. That's why I'm in here, and you're out there." His smile grows.

"I wasn't involved in this. You went completely behind my back to do this long before I-"

"Correct! After I realized that there was a possibility you could love me as much as I loved you, I knew that I had no choice but to protect you from both them and myself. And no matter how evil and cold and hateful people think I am, if they only observe the path that I left in order to end Superman, they would see that it was all for my beautiful girl. You're the most important person to me. I had to fix this world for us."

Crazy. That's what he is. Completely, totally, absurdly crazed.

Psychotic.

"So tell me, ___," he leans in closer and grins hugely. "This was all for you at the end. So why. Do. You. Want. To. Hate. Me?"