Everyone that was in the room with us didn't make a sound. No one coughed, moved paper around, looked at each other or moved their chair even a little for that time being. I could barely hear some of them breath and I think some of them did stop breathing.
I was so tempted to look at everyone and see what was going on yet my eyes never left Mathews. They were glued to his as he looked into mine as I did his. His ocean eyes took me to another place as I dive deeper into them in such a way that I felt like he had me at a halt, only I was swimming in his ocean eyes looking for something.
It was Mathew who looked away first, and then I turned my gaze to the wooden table not wanting to look up. I was too afraid of what he would think. My abusive father was a psycho path that killed people, who told me about himself, knowing I didn't know. Only for me to find out that he is going around killing people, making art out of them to get back at me for something that I did which I have no idea what about.
"Yeah I am anything but stable right now." I looked up to see that I have all their undivided attention. It made me nervous but I pushed it aside because we had to finish this and the only way to do that is to talk about it.
"I had found out that my life was a lie, that I was a werewolf and that they exist. That my real father was a rouge and my mom was a which. But not only that the person who I thought was my real father wasn't and he is an insane killer that is after me for some god-nose reason" I said out of breath.
I was in this way more than I wanted to be. "He is after me for something and- I still can't get over that. He was someone that I had tried to make conversations with, yet if I would have made one mistake he could have killed me. I backed talked him and he hit me-a lot, but he didn't kill me. Why?" I asked.
You would have thought that I was asking a wall or something because no one answered. In a way I guess no one knew what to say. They weren't in my situation so they wouldn't know. The real question is why am I asking them? They don't know.
In fact, they barley know me. I should be asking myself this question and figuring it out on my own. I am the cause of this mess. And to think that I would have to tell them everything I knew about this man, would mean I would have to go through seeing ugly images of things that I wanted to let go.
The things I had tried to desperately to forget would have to come back so we can catch him..only for me to face the murderer eye to eye, look him up and down without giving the satisfaction of him seeing me scared.
This was all too much. If anything I would be past out, yet the fear I have of seeing him in my dreams was what made me stay stable for a while longer. Only for a little bit did it work because soon I felt like all the men in there had something to do with this, making me uncomfortable. I knew they didn't but then it seemed the walls were closing in on me.
It made me feel like I was in a cage and it was slowly getting smaller. The table made me feel like it was swallowing my legs as the char was preventing me from moving. I felt hot and I needed some fresh air.
"I need some air" I said standing up. That was my worst mistake. The world had stopped and went in slow motion just as it seemed to be spinning. People seem like big balls of blur and colored things were hazy. I didn't feel like myself and I felt like I was in a weird dream.
Someone had approached me but I had forgot who, as my mind felt like it had amnesia. I could make out one word that one person said and it was my name. The next thing I know I'm looking up to one of them as my back is held by a warmth as the rest of my body was floating.
All I can see is blackness now knowing I'm with them but so far gone at the same time. I let go of all my fears for a moment and that's all I had to do to let my consciousness slip away.
