When Bad Girls Fall In Love

Chapter 44 --- Aisle

The last few weeks have been incredibly overwhelming. The things that I've got on my plate right now weigh so much, that I cannot help feeling like the next several months (even years) of my life depend a great deal on this crucial time. 

They say there will be two people you will love all your life: the person you're gonna spend the rest of your life with... and your greatest love.


Lucky those who found both in the same person. Unfortunately, I'm not one of them.




I've been doing a lot of thinking lately - some serious, critical pondering about my self and my future, and everything else in between. I guess that's inevitable, given that I'm almost going to be Mrs Margareth Cajucom-Llanza and I'm at this point where everything is about to change.

I can never describe the way I felt when Alex asked me to be his wife. It was pure bliss and I couldn't be happier. But I didn't realize until now that I still have that one box with that special someone in it. I know I love my fiancé so much and I promise to be the best wife I can be.



I'm afraid this time however, "Let's cross the bridge when we get there," isn't going to cut it anymore because the bridge, all rickety and atop an endless pit of darkness, is already right before me.




I am barely prepared. Then again, I'll let God take the wheel.

But somehow all these ordeal of getting  married to someone I witnessed the love he gave and wasted to someone else, it made me wonder if he really wanted me to be with him—if it’s me that he wants and not the girl he chased and loved like no other.






Not to chase what I may be missing but to help myself out to see what I’ve missed because of being stuck with the past. I wonder what goes on his mind whenever it wanders to her like I do from time to time to Patrick

but I have to let go now and seal that box. I know you maybe Patrick’s already out there living the life he was intended to live while here I am regarding him as someone who will always be a huge part of me.

After all, he is my greatest love.

Stepping out I walked numbly to the sink before standing in front of the mirrors looking myself over. He was here with someone, and I was that someone. He wouldn't have asked and proposed if he didn't want me with him, not one of those other girls he used to bed.

 After the end of his shift at work, it was my apartment he came to. Frustration burned in my gut for feeling any doubt for him and myself for thinking differently. Nodding at the reflection, I knew I was right. It was time to doubting his feelings for me and just let them be.

Alex moved over to the couch to rub out my sore feet. Sitting on the opposite side of the couch he propped his feet up on the coffee table and watched me curiously.







I felt my foul mood settle back on me again. I knew I should be over the moon that he'd made any kind of move toward a serious relationship with me. He'd been waiting on me to give him some kind of sign, trying not to push me or move too fast.





Whatever the case, it was settled now and I was happy about it, but couldn't seem to shake the stress of my day. It wasn't like me and I tried to just keep my mouth shut so my attitude wouldn't affect Alex, but of course he noticed.





"You're being awful quiet,  Everything okay?"






 I gave him a quick smile and shook my head. I was quiet for a minute, but I could feel him looking at me before saying hesitantly, "Are you having second thoughts about the whole making-it-official-in-the-eyes-of-God Thing?" He reached for my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing my knuckles.





"No," I said, looking at him in surprise. "Not at all," I said forcefully, wanting to reassure him. "I just had a tough day; it has nothing to do with you. I'm sorry to be a downer."




"Do you want to talk about it?"