After I get off the phone with Logan I get out of bed to see my dad sitting on the couch watching tv, with my mom no where in sight. I walk over to the couch and sit beside him. I cuddle my arms around him and laid my head on his chest. He didn't say I word.
After a few minutes I finally spoke, "Are you mad at me?" he shook his head "no." I couldn't figure out why he wouldn't talk to me, "Do you think I'm crazy?" again he shook his head "no" but he wrapped his arms around me tighter. Tears started to fall, "Do you still love me?"
That finally got a rise out of him and turned off the tv, "Of course I do." I sighed and immediately felt less tense, "Will you talk to me now?"
I sat up sitting indian style facing my dad who wiped the tears off my face before I said, "Yes."
He gestured his arms and said, "Go ahead."
"I feel like I explained this a hundred times but I'll try again and see if it suffices what you're looking for. I cut when I feel stress or pressure or any sort of emotional pain. When I cut I watch the blood drip from my skin and each drop is like an ounce of whatever emotional problem I'm going through leaving the body. Like I told you yesterday, cutting for me is more of a visual thing than anything else." I finish.
"This is dangerous though. It's not like biting your nails or chewing the end of your pencil. This is really serious and you need to stop." my dad explained.
"I will and I did stop, dad. I know it's not like it's been a year but it's been a few days and I don't plan on doing it again." I pause and watch my dad skeptical look, "I promise."
"Please if anything is bothering you, anything at all talk to your mother or I." the tone in my dad's voice sounded like he was begging me, "Please."
"Dad I will. I don't want to let you guys down anymore." I tell him.
He kisses my forehead, "You never let us down. You worried us."
I faintly smile and a let at least a few minutes pass by before I say, "Can we go back on tour?"
He ran his hands through his hair, "Are you emotionally stable enough to do that?"
"Yes." I shake my head.
"Lex, I wasn't even going to go back for another week or two. I just want to make sure everything with you is okay. You are first in my life and I'm not doing anything that might put you in harms way." my dad says.
"Dad, I'm sixteen and I'm hopelessly in love with my boyfriend. In all honesty I would fall into a deeper depression staying here without him." I guilt my dad.
He laughed, "This is something I don't want to brush off my shoulders. I think you need help."
"Dad please, give me one more chance. If I screw everything up again then okay I'll accept I have a problem and get help." I plead.
"Before I give you any definite answers I need to talk to you mother. She should be home shortly why don't you go to your room and try calling Taylor to smooth things over." he looks at me slightly irritated I acted so selfishly to my best friend.
"Okay." I whisper in a barely audible tone before getting off the couch and kiss my dad's head.
My dad and I always had a closer bond than my mom and I. I was "daddy's little girl" I still am I guess. I get to my room and close the door behind me. I look at my phone for a few minutes before finally getting the courage to dial the familiar numbers for Taylor's phone.
A few rings go by before a soft voice answers, "Hey."
"Hey, T." I reply in a sorry sounding voice.
Brushing off my tone and not accepting my apologetic voice she says, "What's up?"
"Look, Tay." I pause before continuing again, "I'm hurting so many people and I really, really don't want to be doing that." tears start to run down my cheek, "I promised my dad to never cut again and I'm going to promise you the same thing. To get through this I need my best friend, I can't have her mad at me." I breath in trying to control the tears, "I love you like a sister Taylor. I need you."
"I never left. I never will leave." she said with sympathy in her tone, "I would move heaven and earth for you. You know that. I know that I couldn't live without you. That's why I got so upset yesterday."
"So your not mad at me anymore?" I ask nervously.
"I was never mad at you. I'm sure everyone's been telling you this a million times the past few days but no one was ever mad at you." she explained sounding calm.
"I know." I paused, "I love you, T."
"Love you too, Lex." and we disconnected.
I sat in my room feeling better than before. Soon after my mom and and walked in and told me to pack my bags. That's right we're going back on tour and I couldn't be happier. I immediately grabbed my phone and called Logan.
"Hello." he answered.
"Guess what!" I was so excited.
"What?" he asked.
"I'm coming back, we're leaving in two days!" I squeal.
"That's great!" he said but it sounded like something was wrong.
"Are you okay?" I ask less excited and more concerned.
He sighed "Yeah, I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"I promise." he paused, "I have to go my dad is calling me. I'll call you later."
"Okay. I love you." I say
The tone in his voice was so sad, "Love you too." I wish he would tell me what was wrong.
After we hung up the phone I got out of my bed and went down the hall out of my room. I stop halfway down the hall and heard my mom and dad deep in conversation. Being the nosy teenager I am I listened in.
"Honey was wrong?" my dad said to my mom.
My mom took a huge breath and said, "We have a problem."
"What is it, Alli?" my dad said urging her to tell him.
"Charles," she paused for what felt like forever, "I'm.. pregnant."
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Hey guys so this may not mean much to you but I was #383 in the other catorgory which I know is a really high number but to be on any sort of list is really cool to me so thanks guys!! By the way do you guys want another chapter with Logan's point of view I was thinking about it but I don't want to if you guys don't like it so please let me know! (: -beautifulgoodbyexx
