My dad comes around the table and hugs and kisses me followed by my mom doing the same thing. I feel so bad for putting my parents through as much pain as I am. I just wanted to run and hide. I should be officially labeled as “World’s Worst Daughter” I definitely deserved it. I go back into the rest stop with my dad. I notice Logan whispering something to his dad then they both immediately look at me. Rage fills in my face and I think Logan can tell what I’m thinking because he texts me “I didn’t tell him” and a weight is lifted off my shoulder. Everyone is treating me weird but it really bothers me because I’m still the same Lexi I just made a few bad decisions. That’s all. We all go back onto the bus for the last hour before we get to the next venue. No one ever goes into the back room of the bus but I love it. Its like a corner of windows and couches with a TV. I sit there and think for such a long time then Logan joins me.
He kisses me softly on the lips, “Hello beautiful.”
“Hey” I smile up at him, “What were you talking to your dad about earlier?”
“Nothing important.” He sits next to me and puts his arm around me.
“You’re lying.”
“No I’m not. It was nothing important.”
“If you say so.”
“How are you feeling?” he asks.
I sigh, “It’s really not worth worrying about.”
“You’re worth it.”
I chuckle, “No I’m not.”
“Whatever Lexi.” he gets up to leave.
“Are you mad?” I ask.
“I’m not mad, I’m annoyed.” he leaves.
I continue to sit in the back room and just stare out the windows. The trees and cars going by, the planes in the sky, the pavement beneath us. I soak it all up. Right before we get to our destination Danny walks in.
“Hey, are you mad at me, Lex?” he asks hesitantly.
I take out my headphones and sigh, “No Danny.”
“It sounds like you are.”
“I understand why you had to tell on me. I just wish... I don’t know. I feel bad. I just cause so much trouble.” I confess.
“No you don’t! You hit a rough patch, it happens to the best of us.” He kisses my head, “We’re almost there.”
I smile, “Okay.”
With everyone in the band it was like having four extra dads. We get to the venue and while all the parents are inside getting ready for the show the kids stayed on the bus and Logan doesn't say a word to me. I know I've upset him but I didn't mean too. I was just speaking the truth. Later that night I was really enjoying the concert there was one song left
Travis started to give a speech, "You see guys there's this girl in all of our lives who feels she's up against the world you know up against a wall. Well she's here tonight and my son Logan had the idea to dedicate this song to her. And we just want her to know we're all here for her." my dad wiped his eyes and then Travis and everyone else looked up at me standing above in the VIP section and Danny pointed his drumstick at me and winked before he started the song.
I smile at Logan and he finally smiles back.
The chorus comes and before Travis starts to sing it he screams, "We fucking love you Lexi!"
My mom wraps her arms around me. I didn't deserve any of this.
After the concert I ran back stage and hugged my dad so tightly he lifted me off the ground and kisses my head, "I love you honey."
"You're perfect dad." I replied.
I then went around giving all of the band members the biggest hugs and thanking them for what they did. I slept easy that night. The following morning I woke up in West Virginia. My mom and dad were still on the bus with the kids. Logan and I kept our distance this morning. I felt like he was still mad at me. It was a hot day and I didn’t want to get off the bus. Later in the day I was forced to get out of bed and get dressed because everyone was going mini golfing and I wasn’t allowed to stay in bed. After we were finished golfing it was time for the last concert before a three day break. One of the final songs came on and the bass drops I look on stage to see my dad fumbling, the music stops, and the curtains close. I run backstage and watch as my dad has a seizure. Coley pulled me into his arms so I wouldn’t watch as my mom ran to my dad’s side. There was already an ambulance on standby so it only took minutes for my dad to be whisked away to the hospital. Only one person was allowed to ride in the ambulance with my dad so I had to stay back with everyone else. I get back to the bus and cried and used my scissors to make a few fresh cuts on my wrist. I know I made a promise I was just so upset. Logan came on the bus and sat with me in my bunk.
As he rubbed my back he asked, “Are you okay?”
“My dad. I’m just so worried.” I rolled over and cuddled in his arms, “Please don’t be mad at me anymore. I need you.”
“I’m not mad and Lexi your dad will be okay.” he kisses the top of my head.
“What if he’s not?” I yell back.
Although I didn’t like to think so negatively I couldn’t help it. This is my dads fourth seizure. I could never live without him if something were to happen. Logan continues to rub my back as I cry. Eventually I fall asleep. I’m awoken really early in the morning by my phone. It’s my dad. I jump out of bed and go to the back room so I don’t wake anyone up.
“Hello?” I answer the phone.
My dad’s voice is tired and crackly, “Hey, Lex.”
“Daddy!” I yelp, “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. LIsten you’re going to stay on the bus with the guys and I’m going to meet all of you in Jersey.” he says.
“But dad...”
“No buts Alexia!” he interrupted.
I sighed, “Yes sir.”
“And do me a favor Lexi?” he asks.
“Yeah, dad?”
“Please, please eat.” he pleads.
“Dad..”
“Alexia, don’t start right now. Just listen to me.” he stops me again.
“Yes, sir.” I sigh again the phone goes silent for a few seconds before I speak again, “Dad?”
“Yeah, Lexi?” he answers.
“I know this probably isn’t the best time to ask this but, you’ll always love me, right?”
“What?” it almost sounded like he was angry.
“Like, no matter how bad I mess up, you’ll still love me.”
He sighs, “What did you do?”
“Nothing!” I respond quickly, “Just for future reference.”
“Yes Lexi, you’re my daughter I will always love you.” he pauses and we both go silent, “I’ll see you in two days. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I felt so much better about everything. I feel a sting in my wrist and remember the cuts I made. The last thing my dad needs is for me to put more stress on him so I wear a hoodie just to be safe. I don’t want anyone to notice. Everyone leaves me alone that day. I think they all realized how upset I was. Logan came into my bunk while I was sleeping and wrapped his arms around me to wake me up.
“Hmm.. What are you doing?” I say sleepily.
“What are we, Lexi?” he asks.
I rub his arm, “What do you want us to be?”
“Together.” he simply responds.
“We’ve only been talking to each other for a few days.”
“But we’ve known each other since birth.” he says.
I roll over and kiss him, “Then let’s be together.”
