Hey guys, I leave for vacation Saturday and there is no wifi where I'm going. If I can somehow get some I will update sometime next week but just in case I can't I'm updating today(Tuesday) although it's short and again on Friday. Sorry about that but I promise as soon as I get back I'll update on the normal schedule at normal length I've just been busy. Also I have a Shaytards fanfic I've been working on for awhile would anyone be interested in me posting that? Please let me know. -beautifulgoodbyexx
___________________________________________________________________________
Right as my parents conversation was finishing I walked into the main room. Both parents gae me a few uncomfortable scan before discretely scanning every inch of visible skin on my body. Of course, my parents thought I had no idea what they were doing but I'm not an idiot. I quickly reach for my phone which I left on the table while I was talking to my dad earlier and left the bus. I hate hiding things from my parents we used to be really close. My dad used to be my best friend and I could always tell him everything but this, this might break his heart. As I step onto the hot pavement in my barefeet I quickly hop over to a shady spot near the bus. Logan was sitting nearby under a tree and I hopped over to sit next to him.
"Lex." he said.
"Yeah?" I respond.
He turns and looks me in the eyes, "Let's tell our parents."
"What?" I'm shocked, "And risk everything?"
"I don't like sneaking around." he complains.
"And you think I do? My parents are already suspicious about my cutting." I admit.
He stops, "Are you serious?"
"Yes." I take a breath, "They found my bloody t shirt that I used to clean up the blood after I cut."
"Have they said anything to you?"
"No, but I heard them talking they're definitely keeping a closer eye on me now."
He bites his lip, "Lexi, I really think you should tell them. Or tell someone I mean my dad would listen."
"Are you crazy?" I yell, "He wouldn't hesitate to tell my dad."
Worry covers his face, "I know but this is serious. I don't want anything to happen to you!"
"I promised I'd stop." I said.
He looks at me as if I'm an idiot, "You promised last time too."
"Logan.."
"Forget it, Lex." his face turns from worry to anger, "Your life obviously means nothing to you but just so you know it means everything to me."
"Logan I'm not going to kill myself!" I fight back.
"Accidents can happen." he says.
I go silent and stare at my bracelet covered wrist. I can't stop thinking what I got myself into. I love Logan, I love my parents but I'm causing them so much pain and trouble it isn't fair to them. So what do I do? Do I talk to Travis? Do I keep living with all these lies? My life is important to me. I don't want to die but I don't think I"m going to. My thoughts were interrupted by Logan's voice.
"Listen, Lex." he said, "I love you, you know that. So just think if one day you accidently went to far and that was the last accident you would ever make. Deep down I would be blaming myself. Lexi I don't want to go through that." tears start to fill his eyes before he stood up and left.
I watch him climb onto the bus. I then stand and walk slowly towards bus. I take a deep breath before opening the door and climbing on. I look at Logan sitting on the couch and he can see the worry in my face then I look to my parents.
"We need to talk." I say in a whisper that's almost silent.
You know how sometimes your mom talks about having "mothers intuition?" my mom definitely has it. Maybe my face did give it away but my mom knew whatever I was about to talk to them about was going to be bad. My mind could comprehend everything that was happening. I couldn't tell them. I'm not going to tell them. I start to panic and shake. I suffer from anxiety attacks and I feel one coming on. I run to the back room and curl in a ball everyone in the bus comes after me. My dad cradles me in his arms as I cry and try to cath my breath. I didn't know what to do. My breath wouldn't slow and I could start to see things fade in and out to black. I've only passed out one other time from an anxiety attack and I think it's going to happen again. Dark. That's all I see, dark. A few minutes later I reawake. There's a wet rag on my forehead my dad is holding my hand and my mom is sitting at my feet and Logan is across the room.
"Alexia, tell me right now what you're so afraid to tell us." my dad has a stern tone in his voice.
"I'm sorry, daddy." I cry.
Logan stands up, "I know what she's so scared to tell you."
"Logan, please don't." I was desperate.
"Shut up Lexi let him finish. If you're not going to tell us someone has too." my mom said.
Logan takes a deep breath, "We're dating."
My dad starts to laugh, "That's what you're getting yourself all worked up about."
I didn't know what to say, I was going to tell them about my cutting. I just shake my head nervously.
"God, Lex!" my mom yells, "It's not that big of a deal."
"I'm sorry."
"Does Travis know?" my dad asked.
Logan jumps in, "No sir."
"Did you guys have sex? Is that why you were so afraid to tell us Lexi?" my mom asked.
Logan and I looked each other then Logan hung his head and said, "Once."
My dad sighed and put his face in his hands before saying, "Well I'm not going to kill you because your dad is going too."
"Mom I'm sorry." I'm still crying.
"Come here baby girl." my mom says as she cuddles me in her arms.
"Let's go Logan. We're going to talk to your dad." my dad said ushering him towards the door.
"Yes sir." Logan said.
____________________________________________________________________________
Were Charles and Alli too calm about the confession logan made? How do you think Travis should react? Please let me know! -beautifulgoodbyexx
