Finding Aria (Wᴀᴛᴛʏ Aᴡᴀʀᴅs 2013)

36-♫- Hazy

♫-Chapter 36

                                                                  You don't know this now but

                                                        There's somethings that need to be said

                                                                    It's all that I can hear

                                                                   It's more than I can bear

 ~*~

            “let me take you home,” he murmurs softly, reaching for my hand.

            Stopping, he stares at the ground for a moment before dropping his hand and walking to his car.

            My shoulders slump and I feel disappointment flowing through me as I follow after him, our footsteps the only sound.

            Opening my door for me, Teegan waits until I sit in my seat before shutting the door and walking over to the driver’s side, his face stoic.           

            Glancing at him, I stare at him as he looks straight ahead, hands clenched on the steering wheel. His messy dark hair falls into his eyes, his strong jaw shut tight.

            “Teegan,” I begin softly, placing a hand gently on his knee.

            Stiffening, he swallows hard before flicking on the radio.

            I stare at him, dumbfounded. Feeling the back of my eyes prickle, I suck in a shaky breath before retracting my hand, folding them over my lap as I look out my window.

            No words were exchanged. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife and serve it.

            I clenched my fingers back and forth concentrating on trying not to cry, his rejection burning through me like wildfire. I felt sick.

            He wanted the surgery. Now, I knew people rarely died from surgery but I wanted him to get that surgery for himself. I didn’t want him to do it for me. I didn’t want him to think that losing his hearing would make him sub-human or unworthy.

            I felt like him wanting the surgery was a sign that I was failing as a supportive girlfriend. I felt like I was a failure in trying to get him to realize how perfect he was- even with his hearing loss.

            But maybe he didn’t need me. Maybe he didn’t want me to stay. I couldn’t help but think that maybe he wanted me to stay because he was afraid no one would take him after he lost his hearing.

            Pain shoots through me and my vision blurs as I stare out the window, focusing on a dried spot of water.

            I needed him.

            I needed him to the point that it was pathetic. Every thought was always on him.

            I needed him more than he needed me and I couldn’t stand that.

            As teegan turns into a familiar street, he slows down to a crawl as he parks his car.

            The second he stops, I throw myself against the door, sprinting for the door before he has even fully parked.