CHAPTER FORTY
My door opens and Dakota barges in. "What are you doing?" she asks. "I eavesdropped on your call—and no, I'm not going to apologize."
"Not now ... please. Not now."
She marches over to me and gives me a hard shove in the chest that sends me to the floor. "What the—"
"Stop it! I heard the whole damn call. You're giving up! People are depending on you! I'm depending on you!"
"Well, they shouldn't!"
She falls to her knees and takes my hands. Her voice is soft and her hands are creamy. "It's too late for that. Everyone's on your side. You can't be the only one who thinks he's defeated. You're stronger than that."
"You barely know me."
"I know enough."
I peer into her eyes, gleaming evergreen spheres. "Why do you even care? You have everything you need now. You've got Perry back."
"Wrong, asshole. I'm dying, remember? We both know that. And if I'm not going to be around, you're honestly the only person I would trust to protect my brother."
"But I don't know what they've got planned for me. No one does. This is a lot of pressure on me."
She stands up and shakes her head at me. "Man up, then. This isn't a game. There's no time for tears and sappy 'I can't do this' crap. You better believe you can do it, and know there's no option. Because there isn't."
She's about to storm out of my room but freezes in place, comes back over to me, pulls me to my feet, and kisses me. She pulls at my bottom lip slowly and then presses her lips hard against mine. I grab her face and run my fingers through her hair to the back of her head. After a minute, she moves back and winks at me.
"What was that for?" I ask.
My heart is racing and for the first time, I'm certain that Alanna was right. I definitely feel something for her. The thought of having to leave her hits me.
She shrugs. "I don't know how long I really have. And I think you deserve it. You're a good guy, Gavin. Pack your stuff so we can head out to Mario's. We'll be waiting in the car." She twists around and disappears down the hall.
Before I pack up my minimal belongings, I prepare a will—a letter that states I'm leaving everything I own to Edwin—the house, the album of my parents, the dolphin portraits, the photos of Bud and Estelle. He probably won't appreciate it all until he's older, but when he does, it'll all be there for him. Mario will tell him the whole story at some point.
I keep one photo of my parents, one of Alanna, and one of Bud and Estelle, so I'll have something to remember, whatever happens. This is the hardest decision I've had to make—to leave everything behind; but the sooner I do the easier it'll be for me to surrender myself to Norrek and whatever dark plans he has for me.
And honestly, I don't even care anymore. I'm numb. If someone were to stab a knife right through my palm right now, I really think I'd be oblivious to the pain. Too much has happened for me to be able to process anything more. All the destruction has blurred together.
After I finish packing my bags I hurry to Estelle's and Bud's room and grab the urn and Great Wall of China framed photo. I take a seat on the bed and look around the room.
"This is it," I say. "I know I've told you this before ... but I love you guys. I hope you can hear me."
I walk to the door, take in one final sent of the room, and close it shut. I head down the stairs and outside. Perry and Dakota are watching me from the window. Their faces say everything I'm thinking: This is it. I stuff my duffel bag into the trunk of Perry's car, and close the lid. I turn around and look at the house, thinking back over the last couple of weeks and how much this yellow-shuttered home with the rainbow colored rooms and dolphin paintings hanging on the walls means to me. I'll never forget it. It is one thing that I can say for sure that the Peace Hunters will never take from me.
